A
male
age
36-40,
*ngkal
writes:Help guys. I dont know what to do.This is the situation:1 year ago: (she met her crush at work and they started texting)my girlfriend had this new workmate who she said was much like me in terms of looks, hobbies, and interests. I never thought much of it but one time, she asked me what "padawan" meant and after i told her and asked why she asked the question, she said it was what the guy calls her through text. This hinted me that they both texted with special nicknames but since they both are workmates, i decided to trust her.8 months ago: (i discovered she stalks the guy)she asked me to format her laptop so i brought it home. before i formatted it, i decided to surf for a while and when i opened the browser, the history bar was opened immediately (restore last session) and i discovered she stalked the guy and viewed all his pictures on facebook. I was disappointed at first but realized I also had innocent crushes so I just let it go and trusted her.4 months ago: (she hid the text of the guy while eating dinner)during this period, i was still reviewing for my engineering licensure examinations which has a notoriously low national passing rate. Because of this, I decided to enroll in 2 review centers which meant I was busy with lessons and studies 14 hours everyday for about 4 months. I let her understand my situation because I also was patient when she was in the same situation during her reviews a year before. Despite my hectic schedules, I still visited her in her workplace at times and texted her during my spare time. during one surprise visit while both of us had dinner, she got a text from the guy and upon seeing that it was from him, she immediately hid her phone in her bag. I confronted her later that night about it and she said the guy just asked about medications for infections. It seemed odd to me because the guy was a medical technician but I still decided to trust my girlfriend because she said the guy had resigned from their workplace and he meant nothing according to her. last night: (she changed the name of the guy in her phone book and denied it was him)my girlfriend texted me that she was left alone at home without dinner because her family had to visit a relative who came from abroad so i hurriedly bought dinner and came to her place. When I arrived, she said she would just go out to buy some soft drinks so I played a game on her phone while waiting. Her sister texted and I accidentally pressed a button so the phone displayed her messages with many of those belonging to a certain "Cuzin Leonor". I read the messages (I know I shouldnt have) and realized it was the guy. The texts werent exactly romantic but they were playful which made me realize they were closer than they should be.When she came back with the soft drinks, I confronted her and told her she crossed the line by hiding another guy's texts from me. She was stunned, teary eyed, and kept saying sorry. I asked her who it was and SHE LIED! she said it was her classmate who I was also acquainted with. I told her I know it isnt him and forced her to tell the truth and she then said she couldnt tell me who he really was. I raised my voice so she finally confessed it was the workmate who she had a crush on.I was disappointed at her hiding it from me and lying to protect him so i left. She didnt text and after an hour, I texted her to tell me everything. She said she flirted with him before and that was that. But a few hours later, she denied it. She said she did nothing wrong but why should she hide everything from me?No matter how much I want to believe her to make our 7 year relationship work, I still cant deny the fact that I begin to doubt what else could have happened during those months. She hid everything from me and had no plans to tell me until I discovered those texts. Please advice me on what to do.
View related questions:
at work, crush, facebook, flirt, period, stalking, text, workplace Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2012): What does it matter? You can't trust her. Get rid of her and never look back.
|
