A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 11 months. But as of late, she has been insanely clingy. She lives about an hour away from me, and after we separate during the weekdays, we haven't not argued once on skype because she says I don't "show" that I am missing her. She is very needy - we started to date in high school and my first year in college has been complete crap. I have completely given up my social life here, having no time for friends. We talk for about six hours a day and she gets angry when I want to go to the library to work alone. Every now and then I have the urge to dump her because it really gets to me. I'm her first boyfriend which makes things especially tricky.Don't get me wrong I love her company, but it's too much sometimes. How can I tell her she is too clingy without causing an upheaval, or generally, how should I deal with this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Retribution  +, writes (23 April 2010):
You said that you are her first boyfriend. That was the first thing you have to understand , she is a first timer and he didn't know things about relationships,(that is why the sayings "first love never dies" was so true) cause a first timer gives all his/her 100% to his/her first love boy/girl, cause she/he was innocent and doesn't even do a second relationship, so he/she was totally innocent and unconscious and they are all thinking most of their BFs/GFs...
So now, Your problem is how would you say to her that she was TOO MUCH??...uhm......it must be hard if you will do in this way,....it must be great if you will not o say but do something to make her change his clingy attitude. . .
the first thing is you have make her busy in other things,
clingy was so needy, and they always want attention.
Because they are thinking and focusing n their BFs/GFs. .
second , plan things to make her realize that you need space
..it seems a hard thing to do.. but do not deal with it by using verbal things,,, thus do it in action..
at the next time you will to date again,, give all the things and do all the things that you think she was expecting from you, you have to make her SOLVED and satisfied , so she will not be needy next time because she was satisfied..
remember
clingy
needs
satisfaction..
just do it all in on day of a week or a month depending of how much you've spend dating a month..
some clingy are so doubtful too,
You need to make her trust on you that she do not have t worry even you were with your friends
If she would think that you have time for your friends and and or her has not, and she says it is unfair to her . . .
even you know you had satisfied her with your last date..
lol your GF was so extremely clingy
bro tie to Make COOL OFF and et her realize what is wrong w/
herself ,, but don't worry dude,, clingy was so crazy with their BFs/GFs and they can never leave you without a cause they were so intact with the BF/GF so don't worry theres nothing wrong with cool off just make it on the right time
A
male
reader, trigger29  +, writes (13 November 2007):
it's never good to spend too much time together, after awhile you both lose interest. you need time apart to miss each other and that makes the times you are together more special! talk to her and tell her how you feel. tell her you love her but you need space sometimes. make sure you say you love her cos she seems to be very insecure. if she can't accept this then you will get fed up and leave so if your still not happy after a few weeks i say move on. i hope this was helpfull.
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A
male
reader, pavel38  +, writes (13 November 2007):
It's a start that you recognise there's a problem & something needs to be done, because it sounds like she is basically both controlling & ruining your life (not necessarily deliberately). You say you argue alot, is it about this particular issue or everything/anything ?. Obvious thing to say but you both really need to sit down & talk, at home, when no-one else is around & you won't be disturbed. You need to convey to her that you really like her & are delighted to be her boyfriend, but that you find things 'smothering' & need to feel that she trusts you & that you can have abit of independence occasionally etc. Ultimately it sounds as though she's simply insecure & worried she's going to lose you. I've been in your shoes & it's an awful feeling, but it needs addressing whatever the potential consequences - if the relationship ends as a result don't feel bad, you couldn't do anymore, when it happened with me we both eventually mutually agreed it wasn't fair to carry on, stayed friends & still are over 5 years later. Hopefully though if you are able to make her realise that you genuinely do really like her & want to be with her she'll realise that not being so suffocating & intense can only be good in the long run. Hope it works out.
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