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Is my friend possibly gay?

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 July 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 July 2013)
A male United States age 30-35, * love TDG writes:

First - I'll say that I'm gay myself, and I'm not just asking to be a douchebag. I'm very attracted to my friend.

Second - there will be a TL;DR (Too long; didn't read) version available at the bottom. Although, I'm in desperate need of some opinions from people who read the entire thing. I would be extremely appreciative if you read the details.

Now I'll begin.

I have this friend, who I'm head over heels for. He's extremely cute, smart, kind of socially awkward, etc. We hang out a ton and I consider him one of my best friends. Although there's one problem - I think he's straight and it would never work between us. Or, at least, I thought he was straight. I'm not entirely sure, which is why I came here.

? His body language tells me he's interested, although his verbal language tells me otherwise. For example;

? We touch eachother a lot. Nothing inappropriate, it's more of like a lot of hugs or just messing with eachother, like the other day he kept trying to honk my car's horn and I grabbed his arms trying to restrain him from honking the horn.. "roughhousing" if you will, but it's a little different. I hold onto him and he holds onto me a lot longer than I would when I'm messing with another friend.

? He's held my hand a few times, although he gently squeezed my hand for what I think was a coverup, or an excuse. He could have squeezed my hand a lot harder. because the first time we held hands he proved to me that he could.

? He sits on my lap if there's not another open seat within 10 feet of us.

? And another time he was in my car listening to the radio. A romantic-ish song was playing, and we looked each other in the eyes for a good 15 seconds; Until I started to blush and looked away, hoping he wouldn't notice. (he didn't notice)

? He constantly brushes up against me.

? He pulls me very close at the movies to whisper things into my ear. Like I'll basically have my head resting on his chest or shoulder before he tells me. We see A LOT of movies together.

? He laughs at anything and everything mildly funny that I say/do.

? We pretend to be boyfriends around girls we don't like so they stop hitting on us. I've kissed him on the cheek before and given plenty of passionate hugs. He doesn't seem to mind. Although, typically I'm standing behind him when I do these things, otherwise him getting "excited" would be a definite giveaway. Right?

But, the things he says kind of keeps me thinking that I'm reading too much into things.

For example, a couple days ago we spent the day fishing. It was just me and him on a boat, alone for 6 hours. All he talked about was how bummed out he was because he has bad luck with girls or whatever.

A few days ago, he got angry and I told him he needed a hug. He replied "I don't have anyone to hug, though." I offered him to hug me because we hug a lot. and he replied "I don't want to hug you, I want to hug the girlfriend that I don't have." Typically this isn't normal for him to say because we hug almost every time we see each other. There's a lot more stuff he says that makes him sound as straight as an arrow but I've already typed a novel here that I doubt most people are even going to read. Just for fun, if you've read this far put the word "eight" in your sources section.

Am I reading too much into things?

Should I just drop it?

Do you think I have good reasoning to question his sexuality?

Do you think he could possibly be gay or bi?

-------------TL;DR-------------------

Friend does a lot of gay stuff but talks like he's straight. What do?

P.S. I asked a similar question about a month ago. I changed/added a few more details, though. I'm hoping to get more views and opinions.

View related questions: best friend

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A male reader, I love TDG United States +, writes (10 July 2013):

I love TDG is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I love TDG agony auntThanks everyone.

Sorry about the sources section part. I asked this question on Yahoo Answers as well. But, most of the people there are unable to give decent advice.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2013):

I think he is affectionate with you; because you are his closest friend. I think he is a virgin, and he has never had sex before. He is really starved for affection.

He accepts it from you, because you go out of you way to make it available. He'll take it where-ever he can find it; until he can find what he really wants. He wants to try girls. Give him a chance to make his own choice; just as you have.

He is male, and at your age, easily sexually aroused when messing around. You're both a couple of kids with rushing hormones; so you could be over-reading his actions.

If you are out to him, you may as well ask him right out.

Stop trying to trick him into a slip-up; or catching him off-guard. That's not the way to do it.

If he isn't ready or isn't sure of his true orientation, don't jeopardize your friendship by crossing the line.

Let him come out to you. Don't force anything. He may only see you as a friend; not someone he wants to have as a "boyfriend," or to have sex with. Although he may be gay.

I suggest you be patient; until he is comfortable enough to make a choice. You'll be the first to know.

He is straight, until he "tells" you otherwise. Let him make the first move; then there's no question about it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2013):

I think he is affectionate with you; because you are his closest friend. I think he is a virgin, and he has never had sex before. He is really starved for affection.

He accepts it from you, because you go out of you way to make it available. He'll take it where he can find it; until he can find what he really wants. He wants to try girls. Give him a chance to make his own choice; just as you have.

He is male, and at your age, easily sexually aroused when messing around. You're both a couple of kids with rushing hormones; so you could be over-reading his actions.

If you are out to him, you may as well ask him right out.

Stop trying to trick him into a slip-up; or catching him off-guard. That's not the way to do it.

If he isn't ready or isn't sure of his true orientation, don't jeopardize your friendship by crossing the line.

Let him come out to you. Don't force anything. He may only see you as a friend, not someone he wants to have as a "boyfriend," or to have sex with. Although he may be gay.

I suggest you be patient; until he is comfortable enough to make a choice. You'll be the first to know.

He is straight, until he "tells" you otherwise.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2013):

He is a Gay that went straight

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