A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I think my friend is bi or gay. He always tries to hold my hand and he always puts his arm around me. He hugs me, rubs my back, and touches my face and thighs. Sometimes he will sit on my lap or let me sit on his. At football games, we cuddle together. I have caught him staring when he thinks I'm not looking. Today he asked me to kiss him, but I just laughed it off. He is also really protective of me. Once, he tackled my other friend to the ground because my other friend was teasing me a little. My female friends and gay friends have said that and asked if we are gay. Even some of my other guy friends have asked, and we get weird looks when we are out in public. But he has a girlfriend and I did as well, until I ended the relationship. I have looked to see if he does gay things with other guys, but it is only with me. Sometimes he ignores me when he talks to his friends that I don't like, but recently he has been ignoring them for me. Is our relationship strange for straight males in the non-metropolitan US? Is he is secretly gay or bi and flirting with me? He is rather attractive and has had girls fling themselves at him, but he kind of ignores them. I am fairly attractive as well and I have ignored girls when they come on to me. He has asked if I am gay, and I said no. Is it time for me to ask him the same question?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): Thanks for all the support. I'm just am a little nervous to ask him if he is gay or bi. I'm not too sure how to start off. I was thinking about waiting until he holds my hand and then asking why he does that. It wouldn't ruin our friendship if he is gay or bi, I'm generally open and accepting of things like that. And yes, I know that we are practically boyfriends because I have people say that every day. They say we act like a couple.
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (24 February 2011):
 At your age, it's hard to say. But, given all the signals - I'd say he's at least bi, if not fully gay. Many gay guys in rural areas 'hide' by having girl friends, participating in sports, etc so don't let that really be major 'indicators' that he's straight.
I would sit him down... and tell him... that you've been re-evaluating the question that he asked you and that your 'no' answer might have been a little premature, but that 'yes' is just as premature and that you're just not really sure (unless you really are sure of your orientation).
Tell him that you've noticed how he treats you, protects you, cuddles you, etc. Tell him you like it (if you do) and that you were wondering if HE would answer the same question. Remind him that an answer one way or the other is not the 'correct' answer... and that you'll still like/love him no matter what. My guess is... he just might come out to you. And if you're gay as well... you should do the same. It sounds like you're almost boyfriends anyway.
Post a followup and let us all know what you do and how it turns out.
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A
female
reader, littleconfused +, writes (24 February 2011):
Ummm I have bi and gay friends...
I think that's is kind of like signs?
I think it is because he asked you if you are gay and you said no. So he is knows you are not interested? I think you should ask him, don't lead him on if you don't want that kind of relationship with him. try your best to keep the friendship :)
good luck~
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A
male
reader, Ignacio ramos +, writes (24 February 2011):
Since your best friend asked you if your gay you said no now its your turn to ask him if hes gay
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A
male
reader, JustinNki +, writes (24 February 2011):
 your age says 13-15 and thats a very curious age, ive been there and i have family that ive talked to just around your age whose going through the same thing.
there are a lot of guys out there who act really homo with each other but "no homo" and deny everything. i think everyone has some curiosity and do you think if he did admit to you that he might be bi, or has a crush on you, would it ruin your guys friendship? would you stop talking to him?
I mean, PERSONALLY i say, go with it, play along with him , see how far it goes. you might like it. but i mean your young and like I said its a age where the mind wanders and wants to experiment
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A
female
reader, Splashy  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 Yes its pass time for you to ask him is gay or bi....I mean he asked you if you were so itsno hard feelings..But i understand where people are coming from by thinking he's gay..But he might just Bi Curious... But go ahead an ask him...It shouldnt hurt yall friendship to ask...
good luck an i hope i gave you some advice.. :)
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