A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,First i want to say that im sorry its long.I hve been dating my boyfriend for 11 months now. We had a nasty breakup last year, and were apart for half a year. he had been the one that broke things off and it had broken my heart. especially after only 2 weeks i had seen him in another town on my way home and he was holding hands and being flirty with some girl. later i found out that he already had a new girlfriend. through out the six months i was a mess. i would tell him that i would be there for him always and that i would always love him. we kept a friendship and long story short we ended up getting back together.It has been about a year since we had the break up and now i am starting to worry about if he will break up with me again. I really want to stay together this time but we have been starting to fight a little more than we normaly would. i think it might all be my fault too. i dont know if my fear is rashinal or if i need to forget about the past. Please help me!sincerly,a confused girl
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): Yes your fear is rational and no you should not forget the past. You really need to learn from the past though, you just have no idea what's really happening here at all.
You already had a nasty break up and you're going to experience an even nastier one pretty soon and no it's not your fault, you're not going to break up for anything you did. But getting back together with this guy was the thing you did wrong. Therefore when you get hurt by him again then that will be your own fault.
You spent 6 months trying to get back together with a guy that broke your heart once, then he moved on almost straight away, so you hung around until they broke up and he had no choice but to get back together with you because he wanted the company. Did you really think things would be different this time? That the things you broke up for originally were just not going to matter any more?
You made a big mistake and he's going to tear your heart out again but it's not going to be for something you did, it's going to be because you're just not compatible.
I bet he's the one that's trying to tell you to forget the past too, I bet he's also blaming you for all your fights recently because the guy is a loser that doesn't love you at all.
Look you love him with all your heart, so even though you know he's not good for you, even though you know he's going to break your heart again because you can feel it in your gut. You're still going to stick by him in the hope that you're wrong, when you should actually break up with him and get as far away as possible from him.
So my advice is, the next time he breaks your heart, the next time he leaves, completely cut him out of your life. You weren't able to get over him in those six months because you were still talking to him, begging him to come back. Next time cut him out of your life and you will be able to move on otherwise you're just going to have months and years of pain and heartache.
Time to listen to your head, not your heart. Time to do what you know is right, not what you want to be right.
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