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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, my partner and I broke up 4 months ago. We were together for 5 years. He was going through a bad time when we broke up as his father had just died and he wasnt in a great frame of mind. He has told me since then that he regrets us breaking up and selling our home. He is now in counselling to get over the grief of losing his dad. We are now sleeping together again and meet up regularly for coffee and movies etc. We have spoken once about getting together again however he decided while he is still so messed up it probably is best to wait and if we are meant to be then why rush it, we have our whole lives ahead of us. I really just want to know if he is using me just as regular sex till he finds someone new. He has told me since the split that he still loves me but even though I know he was going through a rough time I find it difficult to trust him again. I feel insecure now like if I dont keep seeing him and sleeping with him he will forget about me.What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2005): You were together for five years? Were you satisfied at that time? Did you want a commitment? Decide what YOU want in LIFE, apart from him, just for yourself. What are your expectations for love, romance, and sex? You decide, and you call the shots. If he doesn't fit in with THE BIG PICTURE, cut him loose NOW!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2005): His using you, just move on
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (17 December 2005):
 Personally,i dont think he is using you.He has just lost his dad and his head is all over the place.Grief can do funny things to people.He couldnt deal with it so he has seeked professional help.All you can do is be there for him.I know that it is very difficult for you because you want things the way they were but he needs to sort himself out.It seems like you have gone back to dating again.I think if he was using you he would just have the sex and quickly run off in to the sunset but he hasnt.He says he still loves you,well thats a good sign.Time is a great healer so they say.Let him enjoy you again take it slowly,let him have the councelling and see what happens.There isnt a time limit with grief but if you love him then he will be worth waiting for.See what happens in say another 6 months,then you will know if you two have a future. Good luck.
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