A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I was dating this girl for about 4 months and while 4 months doesn't seem that long, we moved really fast. We fell head over heals for each other and spent everyday together because of how much we had in common and how well we got along. She soon moved in (probably a bad idea) to my place as she didn't really have a nice place to stay, just with her grandma a few minutes from me. Like any relationship, we had our fights, and instead of resolving these fights and figuring out the problems, we pushed them to the back of our minds and they came out again a week or a few days later. Other than the fighting, we were great. Spent everyday/night together, sex was always perfect feeling (she agreed), everything was great. She shared some of her deepest secrets and feelings with me and so did I. We then had a pretty big fight because she thought I was interested in another girl and she tried to leave and I finally convinced her that I only cared for her, only wanted her to be in my life. Then, about a week later, she moved all her stuff and moved out of state while I was at work, without even saying goodbye, and I haven't seen her since.After the break-up, obviously the first day when she finally called back and told me what was going on, I was devastated and she didn't sound too good either. She finished school in the middle of her relationship and a lot of her friends that she had left had moved and she was trying to pursue a job but still didn't find one, so I think she felt lonely sitting at the house all day, especially when we had our little fights or I wasn't home. But back to after the break-up, we talked the first few days, usually with me trying to ignore her, her finally getting through to me and her bringing up the old times. I thought this was a sign of her missing me and I told her my faults and the problems I finally realized and she thought they were "unfixable" and that she didn't know if she could try again.A few days later, after small amounts of contact, she noticed a girl posting on my wall and blocked me from Facebook and texted me in a rage saying she was already interested in this guy, a guy that would always flirt with he (and she wouldn't flirt back) when we were dating, also a guy shes never met in person and lives hours away from her.Im just trying to figure out if she wants this to be done or if she is turning to someone else to try and forget about me. I'm doing my best to get over her, but the second I think about even trying to talk to another girl, all I can do is think about her and how much I miss her and love her.I'm trying to do the no-contact thing but its impossible. She recently unblocked me off of facebook, not even after 24 hours of blocking me, but she seems to try to be getting over me by adding guys and potentially trying to get a rebound, which is killing me, because I just want her back in my arms. Should I move on or should I fight for the best thing to ever happen to me?I'm wondering if I should wait a few weeks and call and see if she wants to meet up for coffee and talk some things over?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): OP here... So we talked on the phone last night (I called, she called back) and actually had a regular conversation, as if we were dating but then we got to talking about why she left and all of that. She said she left because her feelings changed because of all of the negative things in our relationship. She also said she is somewhat interested in another guy that she met online but has never met in real life (confused?). She continued to say that she isn't over me and that she still loves me but isn't in love with me enough to try again. She then, today, is casually talking to me via texts. We are also supposed to meet up on Christmas Eve for a coffee or some food.
I obviously shouldn't get me hopes up because she said that her feelings have indeed changed, but I want her to stay apart of my life because of how great we get along and what a good person she is.
A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (20 December 2010):
You may love her but it seems that she has anger issues. She sounds controlling as well. The heart wants what the heart wants. I would write her a letter but leave out the pleading, crying. Basically no begging. I would just tell her how I feel and how she misjudged your cheating, I meant actions. I would then leave it up to her.
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