A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My partner of 18 years left me for another man. I didnt get any closure and she has made no contact at all. It been a few months now and Ihave heard that she has moved away to another part of the country away from friends and family and started a new job. Is she on a rebound, and would she have been affected by the breakup regardless if she started another relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): Sorry 48years, but I did exactly what you said to get my ex of 18years back, and it's the worse thing I ever done, because it stopped me from moving on with my life. She walked out and left you for someone else (technically.... it's a long story.. my ex did the same) She made her decision when she did that, and she didn't do it lightly, she thought a long time before she walked out of a 18year relationship and left you....
I did what 48years said, and he did come back and then he left again, and now I can't get rid of the git. If they know you care, it won't bring them back, they know you care already. But it will keep you hanging on, as they play with your emotions until they find the right person to settle down with, and from my experience it won't be you.
Chalk it down to experience, remember the good times, realise that your a nice enough person to hold a long term relationship and move on to somebody who deserves you and will be glad to be with a person as loving and caring as you. Take my advice, it's hard and it hurts like hell, but that's exactly what I intend to do.
She's got your address, she knows how to contact you, if she's interested she would have got in touch. She's moved on, so should you. Life's to short to trap yourself in past misery, even if she comes back, it'll never be the same and you'll never be able to trust her again.... From one person to another, let it go, move on and look to the future, cause the past is dead and gone.... Sorry, closure is moving on with your life.....
A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (13 December 2008):
 I'm sorry this happened to you.Closure is way over-rated...you won't feel better hearing her complaints or how you should just be friends. The real question is: How badly do you want her back?Make contact, (and move heaven and earth to do it) if you truly want her back. Even if she's in an intimate relationship, you can win her back to you. Never give up-you've got 18 years of memories together. It's not easy, but you've got to not react to her words with anything but warmth. Are you willing to stay calm and loving if she answers the phone? Can you stay sweet when she confides that her new relationship makes her very happy? Can you avoid slinging missiles like 'Well, I suppose you're happy cause you're not with me." Can you honestly say, "I love you and want you to be happy-I'd prefer you to be with me, but if that's not possible, then I just want you to be happy."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): You need to stop worrying about her, you need to try to move on with your life, because she has moved on with hers. I know it hurts, but you can't keep following her movements. She has done what she needs to do, and as long as you keep yourself involved with her and her business you won't be able to heal. Who knows why she dose what she dose, it's her life. You need to find some way to protect your heart and stop caring about her.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (12 December 2008):
 Of course she was affected by the break up. you can't just break up with someone after that many years and feel nothing. She is certainly on the rebound and chances are it won't work out for her because she moved on farrrrrrrr too quickly. They say to give yourself 1yr for every 3 years you were together to finally say you have moved on. People sometimes do rush the moving on part by having a rebound and it is not a good idea at all. Give yourself time to heal, don't rush things like she did. I f you think it will help you write her a very very honest letter about how you feel and never send it. it's just for yourself to get things out of your system and a chance to vent without sounding like a bitter phycho,lol
Good luck and all the best:)
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