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Is my ex looking to reconcile, or just hoping to being friends?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Crushes, Dating, Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 January 2017)
A female Singapore age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ex gave me two missed calls on the 29th of Dec.

He claimed it was accidental.

So I didn't react thinking it was genuine mistake. But he wished me a happy new year, and we ended up texting for about an hour.

Funny thing about the text was we were talking as though we hadn't broken off. Joking around, talking about travel plans, and being relaxed. But I made sure it didn't drag over an hour.

We were together for 7 years, and we broke off 4 months ago.

Does it seem like he wants to reconcile? How do I tell if he just wants to maintain our friendship only or if he's interested to be what we used to be before?

View related questions: my ex, text

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 January 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntChristmas is always a lonely time, and he spent the last seven being in a relationship with you, so yeah am guessing it was a lonely time for him. However try not get your hopes up if you have already told him your views on marriage changed. Just go with the flow and show interest if you are still wanting to give things a go. But remember he may have just been having a moment and has not gotten over it.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (2 January 2017):

YouWish agony auntTwo missed calls? "Accidental" my foot. He was testing your receptiveness, meaning he was feeling nostalgic and lonely over his first holiday season without you in 7 years.

The real question here is - why did you two split after 7 years, and who was it who initiated the breakup??

You were only 18 when you started dating him, so if he's around the same age as you, then you are all you knew during your early college/adulthood.

The other REAL question here is - what do YOU want to see happen? I don't know the details of your breakup, which is why I asked, but if you do not want to reconcile with this guy in terms of a romantic relationship, then I do NOT recommend keeping him around as just a friend.

Unless you want to get back with him, keeping him as a friend will not allow you to move on with your life. Would you ever date a guy who has remained close friends with an ex he had a 7-year relationship with and can text for an hour at a time?? This is very important. If you do not see a romantic future or have a desire to rekindle the relationship, it's best to end the contact now and leave him in the past.

So why did you two break up? Were there trust issues or infidelity?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

We broke off because I was apprehensive about ever getting married (due to my own fears of marriage, nothing to do with him). But after I lost him, I realized that I was no longer scared of marriage and made that known to him. But he didn't want to reconcile then. So I finally gave up.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (2 January 2017):

eyeswideopen agony auntCOULD you ever be what you were before? Why did you break up after 7 years?

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