A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend got me these ugly knee high sneakers for Christmas. I acted grateful and thanked him. They really didn't fit me (thank goodness). So I took them back to the store and just planned to get something else. He's been driving me crazy about those shoes. Why didn't I get a different size? Why didn't I order them? Why didn't I try them on in the store? Where are they ? I got store credit. Told him they didn't have my correct size. Thought that would be the end of it but he's been so difficult about it. I'm getting irritated. I thought I handled it well. Thought getting a store credit and saying it was busy and picked over (which is true) would be the end of conversation. I think he knows I don't like them because it's not my style at all. This is a result of him shopping on Xmas eve last minute. I handled it graciously and tactful but now he's not letting it go and basically keeps asking me the same questions over and over about these damn shoes. He's obviously unhappy I got store credit and no shoes even tho my reasons were valid. I would keep them but $100 is too much money for me to keep these ugly shoes that I will NEVER wear. I don't want to come out and say I HATE them after I've already said "they're cool and Trendy " Thoughts???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2017): It is not the gift, it is the thought behind it that counts. Anyway there are some great advices from the aunts to put an end to his bickering.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (3 January 2017):
 He may very well be confusing the message he wanted to give you with shoes to be what most men are aiming for when they buy jewelry, which is to "tag" with their gift. When a guy buys jewelry, it's an extremely intimate gift. He may have been thinking along those lines with the shoes, but no one gave him the memo that shoes don't work the same way as a necklace does!
I'd say that to him as well. Tell him the shoes are cool and trendy, but they don't match your style, and you felt it was disrespectful to have them collect dust in the closet when you'd rather get something you can proudly wear as a symbol of his feelings toward you. *THAT* is what you say.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 January 2017):
 Opps, shouldn't have labeled them cool and trendy... just ask if he still has the receipt and can he exchange them for a pair in a slightly different style that fit better. That way he'll assume they don't fit all that well but he still made a good choice(no harm no foul)See if he'll go with you to exchange them and go find a pair that you both like that fit real nice. see the psychology?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017): At least your boyfriend got you a present for Christmas. Not mine.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2017):
 I agree with Tisha, you need to just be honest. You don't HAVE to be blunt about it, just honest.
The: "I didn't want to hurt your feelings but they are just NOT something I'd wear, no matter how trendy they are."
I think the knee high Converse are adorable! but I wouldn't wear them, ever.
I also suggest when you SPEND the store credit you take him with you so he can SEE what it is YOU like.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (2 January 2017):
 Most adults don't wear knee-high sneakers; it tends to be a teen thing, except in basketball or similar.... I think you need to say "I appreciate the thought, but they weren't my style and they were expensive for something I'd never wear". Be calm, but direct.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 January 2017):
 "Babe, the boots were very cool. They're just not my style and I'm not going to reach for them when I get dressed. I appreciate you thinking I'm that level of trendy, it makes me happy. I took the store credit so when I have time I can pick something out that I will wear. I'm sure you'd want me to feel confident and comfortable in my style, right?
"I guess I was worried about hurting your feelings after you so clearly thought about my tastes and style! I hope you understand and I love you like crazy."
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