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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend decided to end our relationship in February because he said I'm too controlling. I tried to talk to him but he was just not interested. I eventually decided to also keep quiet, and then 3 weeks back, he started sending me emails.Each day he would send one asking me how I am, and he's been forwarding some jokes as well. I sent him an email telling him that I still care about him and he didn't reply to that; instead he called to wish me a nice weekend.I still love him and I want to ask me out on a date; then maybe we can work things out from there. But how do I say it without sounding desperate? Do you think he can still be interested or he's keeping in touch on a friendly basis?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (5 April 2005):
 Sorry, but I think his position is pretty clear on this one. Look at the facts: he broke it off with you, he went quiet for a number of weeks, then he started sending pleasant, superficial emails. Finally, when you said you were still interested in him romantically, he didn't answer the email, but rang with another friendly wish for a "good weekend". Note that. Not a "hey-let's-get-together" or "I-miss-you", but Have A Nice Weekend. It's pretty plain that he feels bad about breaking up and hopes that you're not too upset, but he isn't interested in rekindling anything at this time.It's fine that you still love him, but it's a waste of your energy if that love isn't returned. I think that you should behave as if he's just a male friend and try to move on with your life. Chat to and meet other guys for a while. See what develops. Give yourself a chance to find some perspective on your relationship and decide whether you really are "too controlling".Maybe... just maybe... with time, your ex might decide he wants to give it a try again, but nothing that you've put into this letter hints that that time has arrived yet. The ball's in your court. If you want to stay friends, you can keep in touch, but if that hurts too much (knowing that that's all he wants) you might want to make a clean break for a while.Good luck. Hope this helps give you a clearer view.
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