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Is my dentist being professional? Am I expecting too much?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 November 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I was hoping someone could help me shed some light on this situation as it's completely baffling me!

Last year I started a teeth straightening treatment and I was reccomended the same orthodontist by a work colleague and an old school friend who both within the last few years had the same treatment and highly reccomended him. I did some research on him and what I particularly liked was that he specialised with anxious patients and I have a huge dental phobia.

In addition I also read his reviews on Facebook and once again everyone said how he put them at ease and how friendly he was etc..,

Upon my initial consultation I explained to him about my dental phobia but he didn't seem to care about it and just kept saying "you'll be fine" which isn't a bad thing to say but I expected more.

Once my treatment started I got the feeling he couldn't be bothered with me- he didn't explain what he was doing or even attempted to put me at ease (many in his reviews said if they are nervous this is what he does), I struggled with some of this things he was doing which led to me having a panic attack but instead of him stopping (which he could have done - the treatment wouldn't have been compromised) he just continued and then laughed once he'd finished - I thought this was unprofessional especially as my friend who also has a dental phobia struggled throughout the treatment and he stopped to give her sips of water before carrying on.

In addition he gave me some contradicting information and when I pointed this out he denied it saying he never said that.

As I go on my own I had no proof and his nurse didn't back me up.

He also never showed me how to take my aligner out properly he just handed me my trays and said good luck. With my 2 friends he actually made sure they were doing it correctly before letting them go!

He also forgot to send some items off which then delayed part of my treatment.

I also find him very dismissive when I ask him things and his answers are "no,no" but doesn't give me a reason.

He also makes personal comments about me saying I talk too much - which is only because I'm so nervous and he knows that.

When I spoke to my friends who went to him previously they thought it was odd too as he wasn't like this with them.

I'm paying a lot of money for the treatment and expected better service.

It's getting to the point where I dread my appointments and if I wasn't so far in to my treatment I would go elsewhere.

Am I expecting too much? Any idea why he is the way he is with me? I'm always polite and turn up on time and never cancelled anything and have kept up all of my payments.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2014):

You are not expecting too much, he is a lousy dentist, at least with you. If it were me I would change dentists if possible and I would also make a complaint about him online and with the dental board.

He should not get away with treating you this way. I can't tell you how many times doctors have f****ed up with me and my family causing near fatal or fatal results, back tracked about what they said and then denied, have been uncaring and crazy and so on.

Sometimes it is just a bad day in the case of a minor thing, but his behavior with you is consistent and insulting- don't let him get away with it. He isn't meeting your needs for your dental phobia so find someone who will. You are paying him a great deal of money I'm sure and I hope this is a treatment that you really need and that you haven't had any teeth removed without really needing to.

I recently had an unbelievable conversation with a tech who thought it was ok to do a procedure, or actually NOT POSSIBLE to do a procedure with sedation and it would have to be uncomfortable and she had had to restrain patients. This is totally false, I had this done to me and I should have made a complaint against the doctor, who failed to do part of the necessary prep for the procedure and who did it when the sedation I was given failed and proceeded to yell at me while I was suffering. This is NOT OK and don't let anyone brainwash you into thinking it is. It is amazing to me how these psychos convince themselves or others that this is normal. Stand up for yourself and make sure he knows his behavior isn't ok.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (29 November 2014):

janniepeg agony auntOne thing about positive remarks online is that it brings him more customers, and he may not have time to effectively schedule them all or he may not have a trusted colleague he can refer some of them to. He got busy and was not able to deliver his courtesy and probably rushed so he could get to the next customer on time. I don't think you are expecting too much but in his mind, as long as your mouth would heal and there are no complications, that's all it matters.

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