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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi there. Please help me with my family problems...I think my dad may be having an affair... you see, a few months back, my dad got friendly with someone who he met at a class he goes to, to become a spiritualist medium. Ever since, she's always phoning him up, and when she does, he always goes to his bedroom to speak to her. He's also going to her house at least 5 days a week and stays there hours at a time, and says that he was just mending her computer (he is an expert with fixing computers), but surely she can't keep braking her computer so many times! Sometimes my dad says that her computer is fixed and then the next day, he says he has to go and fix it again as it has broke again. He is also sometimes late from work for no reason (about an hour late) when he hasnt been workin overtime. I really don't like this woman, that much that I can't even look at her without going red with anger because even if he isnt having an affair with her, I feel like she is trying to take him away from us. It's like she is always wanting him over there with her, and not with us.My dad has changed. My parents are fighting a lot now (which he initiates it), and he's turned into one of those men that expect a woman to cook for them, and if it isn't what he fancies (which he doesnt tell my mum what he fancies for his tea) he starts to yell and sulk and tell her to "f**k off". I can see my mum is hurt when this happens but she won't admit it.I hardly see my dad anymore and it hurts. He used to spend all the time he had with us, but now he's met her, its like he's a stranger that just calls in once in a while. I used to be close to my dad but I feel like I don't want him around. Like he doesnt love us as much as he used to.I have confronted my mum about this suspicion before, but she just laughed and said I was being silly, and so did my boyfriend, so I feel like I can't talk to anyone else about this. Also, a couple of months ago, I told my dad that I was sick of the woman phoning him up all the time and him going over and not spending ANY time with us anymore, and straight away, he said, "You think I'm having an affair, dont you?" I told him "Yes", and he said, "Don't be so stupid!" and he walked off.I dern't say anything else to him, because sometimes, my dad can get kind of violent. He's never hit me, but he's pushed my mum before, to try and get out of the door, and also, he's brought his fist up to punch me in the face, and squezzed my arm so tight that it has bruised (which happened a few days ago- it is around 5cms long and 2cms wide).If anyone has any help for me, please let me know. Do you think he's having an affair?Sorry about the long Question,Thanx for any replies you may have!Loadsa Love and Hugs xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2006): Hi, I couldnt believe your question, because im in a eerily similar situation myself. my father cheated on my stepmother last year around this time with a girl who is a month younger than i am--and i was the one to find out. i disagree with the other answer saying you should call her--nothing could come of that because this woman knows your father is married, and obviously is trying to change that. i think you're 100% right about your suspicion--when i found out, i needed proof so i looked at his phone one day to look at his texts--sure enough there was my answer. if theres any way you could do the same, perhaps you should. theres other ways to "catch" him, you do need to be sneaky though, and you need to get definite proof because your moms in denial. i dont know much about your situation, like if you drive or not, but maybe if you could follow him sometime. of course you need to watch out they dont see you. honestly, your dad sounds like my dad, and the truth is when a guy is that selfish, he'll always choose women over his kids. thats the story of my life. maybe you need to express your true feelings to him again--make him really listen. its hard, believe me. if you have any siblings, maybe they can help as well. maybe your whole family could talk too, sometimes its easier to have more than just you talking to someone. i really hope things work out for you--write back and tell us how it went--and if you needed to talk, say so on another post or reply to this one. good luck-im sorry you have to go through this.
A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (4 April 2006):
 lso in the mean time do a bit of detective work findout where this woman lives, her telkephone number when you have found out ring her up and tell her to stay away form your father and that she is wrecking wht is already a happy home tell this woman to leave your father alone.
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A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (4 April 2006):
lso in the mean time do a bit of detective work findout where this woman lives, her telkephone number when you have found out ring her up and tell her to stay away form your father and that she is wrecking wht is already a happy home tell this woman to leave your father alone.
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