A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been living with my mom and dad since February 2020, when my relationship of 4 years ended due to my then-partner quitting for a job in the US. He had US citizenship from birth, I obviously couldn't move as I'm a Canadian with no dual citizenship from birth (well... technically, I could qualify for Australian citizenship through mom but that's another issue).The big question here is "My dad wants me to help him deal with bullying, he doesn't know how to raise it with the boss".My dad is constantly getting bullied via abusive emails and WhatsApp from co-workers for not using Zoom or contributing to discussions over Zoom, he does everything work-related over email or the cloud. If it's a work-related discussion, it'll be over email.His boss is quite accepting of this, my dad told me, and he's shown me the email as proof.He told me he prefers doing things over email or the cloud as he's of the mindset that "at least there's a paper or in this case, email trail, or server logs, many bosses don't set their Zoom to archive footage.". He told me he'd done the research on this, he's always very into doing the research on things. He's also heard some questionable things over Zoom's privacy and ethics; Dad's not on Facebook or Instagram for this reason.This was a temporary job he took on in February 2020 when his client base temporarily declined (Dad usually works freelance) and it was because of COVID.His main job involves being an assistant / sourcing expensive items / setting up physical hardware for important or influential people in our area. Not always famous people, but important nonetheless.He's shown me the abusive messages, and some are stomach-churning to read. One message even said "You little gay freak, deserves to go to hell for not using Zoom, you fucking freako". One co-worker emailed him demanding "leave your wife for me, it'll be better than being saddled with a wife, kids and grandkids, you don't know how boring that existence is". He was offended by it and didn't reply.But my dad isn't gay, and he found it offensive.He has asked me for help, practical help, but other than emotional support, I don't know what I can give practically.He doesn't know how to discuss it with the boss because he never expected for it to come up at the company he's working for.Blocking the senders may be problematic - since they're co-workers and sent from official email, it's like the virtual equivalent of refusing to speak to your co-worker isn't it? If it was any Joe/Jane Bloggs, he would have blocked them.It's not that my dad can't use Zoom, but won't, because in previous jobs, when he's had to work remotely (and this was in the 00s when I was in my teens) he always did so over email and video-conferencing wasn't common or recommended.My dad's also very hard-working and enjoys his job (well, the freelance one) but is questioning whether to quit this job and become a delivery driver temporarily so he doesn't have to get this abuse until he can return to freelancing. He says at least there's no demand for video conferencing in that job, it's just a routine and knowing addresses!My mom is concerned over this because she worries he could have a mental health issue because of this; although my dad insists he's not letting it get to him.Mom and dad have a great relationship.Is he really that wrong for not wanting to use Zoom and to retain an email trail for future reference?I realize this may sound like an odd question for here, but am going to ask anyway.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2021): You can't keep the job and just complain to yourself about abuse. If he hasn't filed a formal complaint with Human Resources, or hired an attorney; the option is to quit.
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