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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: A bit of back story before I begin:My boyfriend, who I've been dating going on a year and a half, has been studying abroad in Europe since late March of this year. We lived together for three months before he left and will live together when he returns. I have never studied abroad, nor have I ever been close with anyone who has, until him. He is in his final five days of studying abroad before he comes home, and about two weeks ago, he started saying things about how he simply cannot wait to return home.For the last three days, when we talk on Skype (a video chat service), he's been rather distracted and hasn't said a whole lot. I felt like I had to drag conversation out of him. When I get quiet, he says, "Hey, if you want to talk, then talk." When I tell him that I've been talking, and would like him to talk, too, he says that he already told me about his day, and that's pretty much it. When he DOES start talking, he goes off on long tangents about things, and then says, "I really hate that about you" if he mentions something about my character or personality (i.e. I like to plan things in advance, I like to know his plans, I am emotional...every thing he knew when we first started dating). Then, he'll finish his tangent, and stop talking again. It's really hurtful to me when he only says things about me he hates, and I pointed that out to him and finally asked, "Is there anything about me that you like that we could talk about?" Then he gets sarcastic -- very heavily sarcastic, with an obvious tone in his voice -- and says, "Yeah, sure. You're smart, and you have goals and you're beautiful and you make me happy and you drive me crazy, but I love you." It hurts my feelings even more when he's sarcastic! When I tell him this, he insists that what he said was NOT sarcasm, that he was being honest, and that he's (again, sarcastically) SO sorry I can't take a compliment from him.Finally, I said, "You know, these past three days, I just get the feeling that you don't want to talk to me." And he responds that, yes, that is the case, that he'd rather be out doing something before he leaves (except that it's already about 10 p.m. there when we talk).Anyway, my point here is that no matter what I say about how what he says hurts my feelings, he's blown it off and attributed his bitter mood for having to leave Europe and being bummed out about it. I asked him why he was taking it out on me, and he got even more angry. He told me that I don't do anything to be emotionally supportive of him (despite me asking if he wanted to talk about it earlier, despite me supporting his decision to study abroad and even paying $2000 out of my pocket to visit him for ten days, despite me always letting him vent about his homework there and struggling with the language), and if I was a good girlfriend to him during this hard time, I'd talk about all the fun things we'd do when he gets back (although he hates my planning in advance, as he said earlier), or change the topic of the conversation (which I felt like I was carrying the entire time to begin with).Later he told me that I'm pushing him away, and that he's thinking maybe we should have a real discussion about whether we really should live together (we already signed a lease together AND neither of us can afford this apartment on our own). Finally, at the end of the conversation, he calmed down, briefly admitted he might've been being mean a little, and told me I need to keep calm and be nice to him.What is going on?! Do you really think all of this is caused by him being bummed about leaving Europe?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010): try phone sex,get nacked on skype and touch yourself, sexting spice up your relationship. do new things make him happy! and im not trying to sound perverted. im a woman that has had similar problems and that helped : )
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