A
female
age
30-35,
*arfunkleaj
writes:Back in January, I remember I was at home and my boyfriend hadn't responded to my texts for over two hours. He finally texted me back, saying he was in his aunties house visiting them. I thought it was so odd, for him to visit relatives as it is something he would not do. Anyway, I remember about a month after we were in his attic. I thought I'd test him, so I ask ' are you close to your relatives' and he replied ' not really'. A few moments later, I asked him again ' would you ever visit your relatives' and he replied ' nah'. So then, I confronted him saying ' I thought you visited your auntie ?' and he then goes ' oh her yeah over where John lives' ( his friend). Tonight, I thought I'd bring it up again to test him. I mentioned that I've to go to a family gathering tomorrow and I go ' would you ever visit your relatives' and again, he said ' nah'. I said ' so you didn't visit your aunt that time' and he looked at me like ' I did visit her' then put his hand on his head, sighing. He was telling me I was accusing him of lying, and looked at me sadly. We then just stopped talking. I just find it so hard to believe he went out of his way to visit his aunt ( and uncle). Also, he has lied to me before. He met up with his ex-girlfriend and never told me, but I found out. It's a long story, but he only did it because she kept pestering him and he thought she was going to kill herself.I am 18, he is 20. My boyfriend is very , very intelligent, both academically and generally. He studies a very hard course in college. I love him, and he loves me. He would never cheat on me because he is the kindest most harmless person. His ex cheated on him multiple times , and they were together for 3 years.However, I don't know what to do. Get over the lies or what?
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female
reader, prettyGirlsz178  +, writes (21 April 2013):
Maybe he was cheating you know boys they have all these excuses
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2013): I am not going to keep telling you that any successful relationship has to have a element of trust and understanding between two partners. Did you both agree to a single one and one relationship between the two of you when you started dating? did you lay out rules and guidelines for both of you to follow? I bet you did not cover all of what I said. But maybe you did. Did you cover not telling the truth to each other in relationship to how it would affect the both of you.I believe he may of put the sad routine on because i have done that to my girlfriend when she has asked me to do something and i say i did when i didnt. It is kind of a ploy us guys might use sometime. my girlfriend bought the sad sack routine which i put on for awhile and after caught on and caught me in it red handed. So i paid for it by sleeping on the sofa for a couple nights and being denyed bedroom priviledges for a week. But it really put things in prospective for me. A small small lie does begin to affect the relationship eventually. I learned the hard way. I also learned another hard lesson, dont cry wolf because eventually nothing you say or do will be believed and that is when trust has gone out the window. Had my girlfriend been another women i would not have a girlfriend anymore. He could be lying to you but you never said what you considered was lying in your relationship.move on.. good luck.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (21 April 2013):
He's obviously lying, so what makes you think he isn't capable of cheating?
There's probably other reasons he'd lie to you. What have you told him that he's not allowed to do? Or what could he do that he knows will upset you?
That's likely what he was doing.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (21 April 2013):
Get over it because it is April and that happened way back in January. You even said you think he would never cheat on you so what are you trying to prove so desperately? That he did cheat? If you want to be mature about this then all you had to do was mention to him from day one that it seemed strange and you might think he is hiding something from you. But at the rate you are going you will just seem like a crazy obsessed person so it would be wise to drop it.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (21 April 2013):
 You are sure he wouldn't cheat? Then maybe he is only lying because he was with a friend or something unimportant. People do lie, it doesn't make them a bad person. It depends if its an important lie, only you know that, but I would be tempted to let it go.
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