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female
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anonymous
writes:I need some advice!I wanted to ask people whether they thought my boyfriend could possibly becoming interested in someone else. Being emotionally involved its hard for me to make a decision about whether he is or not!Why I think he is, is because hes taken 3 photos of her on his phone when they were at school (shes new to his year), he doesnt ever take pictures of me! He talks about her a lot - not a tremendoue amount but enough for me to notice. I dont go to the same school as him and so I dont know what hes like around her - but i gather he is rather flirtaeous (i dont particularly mind this, i think its better that men have healthy relationships with other women in relationships). I know he speaks to her a lot on MSN and looks at her myspace. When he mentions her I go a bit quiet and therefore I think hes aware of me not liking him socialising with her. The other thing is that its been a bit touch and go between us lately - weve not been angry with one another but hes been really tired and were at that stage in our relationship where we find out about the 'real' one another (were 5 months and are both 16)Reasons why I dont think theres anything to it are because he tells me he loves me and he said that he was obsessed with me! I think he loves me but recently he hasnt been texting me as much. When im at his house is parents make comments about how much he likes me and he himself makes a huge effort to make me happy - he says he wants to make me happy all the time. I do over react to some things and he gets a bit annoyed at that, i wouldnt drean of confronting him about this girl until i felt that his behaviour was out of hand or humiliating towards me. Im sorry if this is a long post - i could really do with some help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): i need some help too. i know what you mean i kinda feel the same. i've been with my boyfriend over 10 months already. We've had our ups and downs, but sometimes i dont know i just cant take it anymore. right now i feel so frustrated. i wanna cry. okay well first of all, we dont go to the same school. lately people have been telling me that he's been getting very close to this girl, kathy. they've told me that they're in the tennis team, and they always talk a lot and hang out a lot. since we dont go to the same school, we see each other like at least 2 or maybe 3 times a week. and just last friday he told me that he couldnt see me because he was gonna go play tennis. so i said okay cause i thought it was for school. but then this weekend, that girl, kathy, was talking to him a lot. telling him that they should go eat somewhere after their games, because she has a good time hanging out with him. he says okay that it would be really cool. he usually tells me about going out somewhere with people. but this time he hasnt told me anything about that. and it bugs me, but i dont know if i should tell him because i'm not sure what to tell him. or i should confront him. i just really feel like crying.i know exactly how you feel. eventhough i think i should not over react. i dont know, there is something about that girl that doesnt feel right.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): My advice to you would be that if this continues to bother you then you should feel able to talk to your boyfriend about it. I don't mean confronting him, but talk to him honestly and openly, pretty much just explaining how you feel. Just as you have done on here.
It's a good sign in a relationship, I think, when you can talk to your partner about these kind of little doubts or insecurities that we all have from time to time. Why not? It's better than wasting time worrying, or having to write messages on the Internet, loosing sleep over or imagining things that arn't even true. To me your partner should also be a best friend. You should be able to talk to them about any thing that concerns you. You could just be a few minutes talk away from having every worry in your head settled, you never know unless you try!
:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): I know exactly how you feel... I went through exactly the same thing with my ex(this wasn't the reason we broke up though)It hurts when you feel that your boyfriend is spending more time with another girl than you. There is nothing wrong with him having friends that are girls, but I understand where you are coming from... you feel left out and that he isn't interested in you as much as the other girl.
His parents say that he likes you and would do anything to make you happy, and so does he. He also tells you that he loves you. I think you should just trust him when he says this and count yourself lucky for that at least.
If, however, he seems to be spending more and more time with her, and you think they are getting too close for comfort, then you should definatly talk to him. Explain that you don't have a problem with him being friends with this other girl but you don't really like how close they have got recently
Good luck and I hope it works out for you!!
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2006): i think he is interested in this other girl. maybe he has a crush on that girl. taking photos of her in his phone (which he never does to you) is a sign that he is somewhat attracted to her.
now i think they're just friends, but i can certainly see attraction from your bf's part. he talks about her a lot, he takes her picture, its like he has a crush on her.
how you will react to this really depends on you. if it's ok to you that he has a crush on her so long as YOU ARE the girlfriend, then that's fine. but there's a chance you'll end up crying in the end. imagine, what if this girl shows interest too in your bf? he might end up leaving you, or worst, cheating.
i know you trust your boyfriend, but please, don't be blind. where there's smoke, there's fire.
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