A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’m really confused I really need other’s opinion on this. We’ve been dating for over 7 months and everything was perfect, we rarely argue, we connect and communicate very well on every level. He looks at other women too, he seems and acts like a perfectly typical straight male. But he acts completely different around this one male friend of his. He is usually very respectful of me when we’re alone but when that said friend is around he suddenly turns into the biggest jerk. I was already bothered by the way he acts differently when his friend is around, but then even worse, they would start talking very homoerotically right in front of me. They would use the most obscene languages and gestures, they play fight a lot, they touch each other a LOT, he told me one time that the friend got into bed with him and they cuddled for the whole night! They cuddled when there was nobody around in the apartment… just the thought of laying in the same bed that guy cuddled up with my boyfriend turns me off completely. And I thought it’s gone kinda far my bf might tell him to get off bed without hurting his feeling or something, but he didn’t, my bf obviously welcomed the advance! And that guy is very disrespectful of me, he ignores me most of the time when we’re all together, he would touch my bf inappropriately and say things that just get on my nerve, like how they would be getting it on when I leave. And my bf basically just told me to deal with it. Sometimes I just wish either he could get out of our relationship or I’m on the verge of bailing out. That might be over reacting but this is how I feel. All the play fights and homoerotic comments I can pass as them playing around. But they cuddled for the entire night?? And they didn’t go to sleep until 5 am that night. I am his girlfriend and I was shocked to find out that my boyfriend is doing what WE do with another GUY! That guy friend jokingly asked my bf to marry him one time and he said yes!! I couldn’t help but ask him one time but he insisted that they are in fact just playing around. It’s been so many incidents, they even dry humped each other one time at the bar, I don’t know what to think! I have no problem with homosexual people, but why is he acting this way when he’s in a relationship with a girl!? I just want him to be honest with me, does these behavior seem odd to anyone else, we are all in our early 20s. Or am I really over analyzing everything? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011): It sounds like he's in some sort of homo relationship with that other guy. I mean I'm bisexual and if I have a girl/boyfriend I NEVER act like that towards anyone else male or female... It's flirting and they say it's fake... But behind the scene it's usually real in some way...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): I don't think he's gay.
No straith man will cuddle with his buddy all night. If he treats you like that and acts this weird than dump him or talk about all this with him
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 June 2011):
 I don't think your boyfriend is gay, and I don't think thats really what you're worried about either. You just don't know how to tell your boyfriend that he acts like a jerk, and that his friend disrespects you. You don't like this friend for said reason, and would rather your boyfriend stopped hanging out with him. Blaming it on him being gay would fit nicely into why they shouldn't hang out... but if you accusing him of being gay your relationship will go right out the window.
Instead, tell him what a complete prick he is when he's around this friend, and how this friend is a complete prick as well. If he can't respect you when they're together, he needs to go somewhere else to hang out with this friend.
It is also disrespectful to your relationship, all the snide comments and touches. You should also think about that it might be they don't really cuddle together at all when you're not around, and that it is something they do to purposefully piss you off. As of it was fun. Which witnesses of immature and childish behaviour.
I don't think it'd be over reacting if you bail out. Because, with all the disrespect, purposefully hurting you, acting like a prick and ignoring you... who would want to be treated like that??! No one!
Perhaps your boyfriend needs a straight up reminder that he is playing with fire when he wont treat you properly. This friend of his should also not be welcomed by you. Next time he comes over, just walk away. Don't sit there and take it. Or act on it and put your foot down.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): Maybe he's bisexual.
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