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Is my boyfriend gay? Would another guy not want me because of the acne between my legs?

Tagged as: Faded love, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 October 2014) 5 Answers - (Newest, 21 October 2014)
A female United States age 36-40, *hoknew writes:

Ok my boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years the past few months our sex life has been dead! Now we are busy I work all the time an we have kids but we have had times where we can have sex but we both don't act on it I keep telling him I am tired of this sexless relationship an he always says oh tonight we will an it has yet to happen I feel like he doesn't love me anymore. So that's the back story he has a ps4 an he plays with guys all the time the also make gay sexual jokes with each other all the time I never hear guys joking like they do talking about it's not gay if we don't look in the eye or we can just make our d*cks touch he only does it when I am not around he doesn't know I know I wonder if he is gay? Is this what men do? Also I have acne in between my thighs tmi I know but I have had it ever since we have dated an we use to be a lot more "active" but he has always told me I will never find another man that will stay with me because of this. I know I can't be the only woman with acne. Do other women have this problem? Would a guy truly not be with me because of this?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2014):

I have met a few guys who do this. "Straight" guys who are constantly making gay "jokes." Freudian slip? Perhaps. And no not all men do this. I have always questioned it too. For instance, I have never heard my boyfriend talk about gays (or being gay or acting gay) around his friends (or not around his friends). And we live in a city full of gays. It's just not a topic that is on his mind ever. He and his friends talk about girls. Business. Politics. Sports. Girls. And they are constantly making fun of each other. They even get mean sometimes. "So and so got rejected by this girl. Haha" "Look at the big mole on so and so's face. Haha." And if they were ever joined by dudes remarking about their penises touching or "joking" about "not" being gay or making gay jokes, just bringing up gayness, period, I can assure you they would all glance at each other, eyes popping out of their heads, smirking, holding back laughter, and the next topic of conversation would be questioning what they heard and probably poking fun at the "closet gay guys."

So is your boyfriend gay? I certainly wouldn't rule it out. Is that the reason he doesn't have sex with you? It could be.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (21 October 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntNO it's not true no other guy would want you, he says that to keep you tied to him.

I doubt he's gay... sounds like he has no se drive which is way more common that folks think....

most of my women friends and I whine that our menfolk are NOT interested....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2014):

Have you tried a salt scrub for the acne, it can help. Mix salt with olive oil, or with a shampoo or shower gel. It helps with my skin.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (21 October 2014):

Honeypie agony auntAcne on your crotch? You sure it's not razor bumps? Either way, acne or bumps, go see your doctor. If it can be foxed why not do it? Not for any GUYS sake, but for yours.

And for him to say no other man will have you is a load of bull crap. Even though he has you believing it. It seems to me you two have been together for 9 years? Since you were 15? I think the relationship have run it course, I think, quite frankly you two have outgrown each other. I think he is just USED to having you around, you are convenient. It's might be that he loves you, but isn't IN love with you. The thing is, this isn't just about him. HOW do you feel? Do you really think you can't find someone else? That you have to settle for this guy?

I don't think he is gay though, the whole "homo, no homo" crude talk is kind of typical for immature guys. I play an online mmo and we have some younger kids (early 20's) in the guild and I swear they all talk circle-jerk and all kind of immature sexual crap, I think it's lack of social skills and hope to shock and amaze any females... though it does have a very different reaction in the females.

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A female reader, Auntie_C United States +, writes (21 October 2014):

Auntie_C agony auntNo, he is not gay. Guys unfortunately say random things when playing video games. Trust me I know from experience. As for the acne, I've had off/on issues with that myself and it's not a problem. Someone who loves you won't be so silly as to let something so little bother them. On a side note, you need to let your boyfriend know he's crossing the line with his words... most guys who say stuff like that are usually doing it to gain control over you and make you feel like you're stuck with them no matter what. Don't let that happen. Anyhow good luck and God bless.

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