A
female
age
36-40,
*ellyfish84
writes:Well, we have just been together for a few months and he is the greatest guy I have ever met. He is sweet, lovely, takes care of himself, no smoking, appreciates what I do to him, but I've always felt something's not right. 1. i met him when I was coming out my miserable underground relationship and he said "I wish I could help you but I am a... :)". i asked "a what?" he didn't answer.2. He told me he was always annoyed by gay people on MSN and he showed me a gay's profile before. 3. He has gay family members. 4. He goes to bars less than 10 times a yr and he is still a virgin (26 yr old). I am his first gf. he said he needed "someone nice to introduce him to that" and he was shy about having sex (with girls, I can say), but he is never shy when talking about anal sex. and if on cam, he always asks for ass first and seldom for pussy. when he sees my ass he totally loses all the things he says about his shyness about sex. All his interest in pussy is limited to "the little make-up for showing too much interest in asshole". BTW we haven't had real sex yet.5. last night at 9 pm he disappeared and when he came back he said he was invited by his dad's friend, a geek, to his house to show video games to him. but WTF are video games needed to be shown at so late at night? and WTF is the weird single uncle?I've talked about gay topics with him seriously and he said he tolerates but doesn't support. He told me he wanted a bf when he was young. sometimes when I ask about his past, he shuts up. He says he is open to all topics but he just shuts up about his past. He wants me to have blind trust for him, I am trying my best but this is too suspicious... I love him and I know he really loves me too... he really really is equally silly and happy when I told him that the plan of my moving to his region seems really bright. He spends most of his spare time with me. Might he be a gay but he wants to convert? What's the possibility if so? confused jellyfish
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anal sex, msn, shy, still a virgin, video games Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jellyfish84 +, writes (17 July 2008):
jellyfish84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you efc1981, but i don't know how to open up with him on this. i know it's unforgivable to tell a normal man he is gay, and he said he's not a gay (without enough proof though). i once joked that i don't like gays (actually i don't mind) when he said he was annoyed by gays, and then he might think i am really anti-gay so he shuts up about anything. if i turn out to say i am not against gay orientation then it would be pretty dramatic... idk how to open up with this now, or just tell him i was joking?...
A
male
reader, efc1981  +, writes (16 July 2008):
In a way he sounds like me, in many ways, i am 26 and never had sex with a girl, only other men, and I like arses on girls, it might take time becuase i am coming back in search of girls leaving my dark past behind but when i get into a relationship i will tell my girl the dark truth that i used to have seaxually times with guys.
You just need to ask tell him its ok you understand that he might be bi or gay but tell him you will be there for him, if not a relationship has a friend.
i am going to find it hard my self but will tell the truth even if it ends the relationship
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (16 July 2008):
 thanks oldersister
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A
female
reader, jellyfish84 +, writes (16 July 2008):
jellyfish84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto cupidguy,
thanks and we are waiting to see if this will happen :)
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A
female
reader, jellyfish84 +, writes (16 July 2008):
jellyfish84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioneuh we both agreed not to have sex until this september... so it's not really anyone's problem for not having sex. the point i said that we haven't had sex is he hasn't really put his ass fantasy into reality.
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A
female
reader, O Connor +, writes (16 July 2008):
well you guys have been together for a few months and havent even had vaginal sex????? hmmmm....unfair, selfish and downright strange if you ask me. alot of this post has red flags in it - but im not sure if they point to being gay. he could be bisexual, he could have had relationships in the past...or he could well be gay. the fact that he expects anal sex from you but has not even tried vaginal sex with you yet is really unfair and he's being selfish. tit for tat hun, he wants anal you want normal - so compromise and do both!
i think that you need to talk to him once and for all and ask him for the truth - you have been dodging it all and justifying things to yourself for too long. you know that its not fair for him to act like this, so why are you letting him?
talk to him and either get the whole truth or leave.
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A
female
reader, O Connor +, writes (16 July 2008):
well you guys have been together for a few months and havent even had vaginal sex????? hmmmm....unfair, selfish and downright strange if you ask me. alot of this post has red flags in it - but im not sure if they point to being gay. he could be bisexual, he could have had relationships in the past...or he could well be gay. the fact that he expects anal sex from you but has not even tried vaginal sex with you yet is really unfair and he's being selfish. tit for tat hun, he wants anal you want normal - so compromise and do both!
i think that you need to talk to him once and for all and ask him for the truth - you have been dodging it all and justifying things to yourself for too long. you know that its not fair for him to act like this, so why are you letting him?
talk to him and either get the whole truth or leave.
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A
female
reader, jellyfish84 +, writes (16 July 2008):
jellyfish84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Emily... seeing this makes me feel better and i think he is open enough to take the joke coz sometimes he joke i must be a les for living in a dorm with other girls for 2 yrs. :)
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (16 July 2008):
Well it sounds like he might be a little confused or maybe he's just paranoid about it if he's anti-gay people anyway.
As for the anal thing, it might just be his fetish.
There is nothing here that makes me think he's gay. Late night video gaming and having gay family members is not real evidence.
If you want to test the waters then just make a joke of it. Next time he talks about anal joke that he loves it because he's gay. See how he reacts and then use it as an excuse to really talk to him about it.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, jellyfish84 +, writes (16 July 2008):
jellyfish84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionah but he is not against giving oral sex either, or is his real target "something else"?
he is turning me into an unreasonable suspecter. i really really care...
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A
female
reader, jellyfish84 +, writes (16 July 2008):
jellyfish84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told him that i don't like anal, then he said he would not force me to do what i don't want to but he still talks about it and that annoys me.
a few days ago i told him i won't force him to have vaginal sex if he doesn't want to, then he replied "oh i can still have sex, don't worry."
he doesn't look like, sound like, or walk like a gay though...
ah exhausting!
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A
female
reader, jellyfish84 +, writes (16 July 2008):
jellyfish84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Ask Oldsister.
Well if he isn't really gay, I would like to give him first try of vaginal sex. Some of my male friends told me that they also fascinated anal a lot when they were virgins...
I still have some little hope.
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