A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Please help me,I'm having a bit of a problem with my boyfriend and this girl he has been texting, it started a couple of months ago when he started talking to a girl that he has known for a while but I don't know at all. He told me once he had a crush on her because they got on so well and walked home together everyday after school and they told eachother everything, which I understand because I had a boy mate that I told everything to, I even trusted him with my life. Me and boyfriend are in a amazing relationship and the girl he has been texting is living with her boyfriend, I don't know wether they are having a hard time or not as I don't talk to her and my boyfriend has never told me anything about he boyfriend. She has been having some trouble with her family and text my boyfriend seeking advise, so I told him to answer her and talk to her about what he can do to help, but I left his house and they text for hours on end, as he is in the year above me and is having his prom this year I suggested them going together, to cheer her up and so he doesn't have to go on his own.But last week she texted him and he igroned the text which I found weird, so I got his phone and went to text her back. In a rust he got up and snatched the phone out of my hand, well he told me that he was messing about but I'm not so sure at the moment, so I asked him what it said and he just told me it was about the prom so I left it there.Over the weekend he told me he was going to watch football and was busy on the Sunday to call or text me, but when I looked at his phone it said he had been on the phone to the girl. I'm not sure if it was that she was just upset or that he was up to something I'm not sure.So last night I went to his and we cuddled up and was watching a film, he can be romantic and talk about alot of nice things but half way through the little speech he suddenly mentioned the girls name and said that he was going to have lunch with her today but he told me that he just wants it to be him and her, I don't really understand why as I havn't been in school for the last 2 weeks and he could of had dinner with her everyday for all I care, but I'm finding it weird why he is suddenly spending alot of time with her when it use to be that we spent every second we could together. I thought about what I'm going to do about this last night and all I could think of was to stop the relationship before I get hurt more, but when I seen him this morning I couldn't do it, instead I just poored my eyes out with tears. I asked my mates what they thought I should do and they told me that we should go on a break but if I do that he may want to go with the other girl, instead I've been told to tell him everything at break but I'm worried that he'll dump me and I love him so much, what do I do, I can't make him choose me over a mate and defently when she needs help. I can't do that, and I don't want to hurt him but I can't seem to find anyway I can get through this. Am I being stupid or is it that he may like this other girl? Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): You probably don't want to hear this, but I think you are more invested in this relationship with your boyfriend than he is.For gosh sakes you are just a kid. Why be so serious with a boy in the first place? You have really just grown dependent on his attention and you are monitoring his texts as a way to build a fence around him. If you have to do that it is time to go.Date some other boys or be on your own for awhile. These kind of boy/girl relationships at your age ALWAYS end at some point. You both have a lot of growing up and changing to do that will not include the other one.He isn't choosing her over you, he is simply a young boy who doesn't know what he wants and he likes you both, but he knows spending time with her will likely cause you to go away so he is purposely keeping you in the dark like a mushroom.Get control of your emotions and back off from him. Get busy spending time with other friends, get involved with activities at school and then it won't matter what it is he is doing or isn't doing. You are both too young to be this glued at the hip, sorry.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): To be honest you have been pushing him towards her, I think this makes him feel uncomfortable and has been giving the other girl the wrong signals!
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