A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello I'm really confused and I think my boyfriend might be bisexual or gay. My boyfriend has grown up in an abusive and dysfunctional home. He says he has a lot of family problems with his dad but that's as far as it goes. He gets angry when I press on about it. He is the type of person that always needs to have someone around. He jumps from relationship to relationship. His past relationships would be described as him being abusive and dysfunctional. Our relationship we have is not far off. We have been dating for two years. The first year of college he def seemed to be heterosexual but now we are back home and he is away most of the time in another country for work. So when he is home He chooses to be with male friends all the time instead of me. We have sex once a month now and it is very quick. Recently he is out of the country and has been very distant with me and only talks about how much he misses his male friends. Just recently I went on Facebook and saw that he met a girl who is supposedly a waitress/bartender. She has a small amount of friends on Facebook. So I creepily checked and All of her friends and photos are with openly gay men. When I confronted her how she knew my boyfriend she quickly blocked me on Facebook. The conversations I've had with my boyfriend about homosexuality he either becomes overly aggressive on the subject or he is amazed how some people can come out if the closer. I'm seriously confused and don't know it I'm over analyzing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2014): If you think he is bi/gay, break up with him. If he has random unprotected sex he may transmit hiv and other stds to you. It's not worth it. The fact that he won't discuss any of this with you is a clear sign that he is hiding something. You need to protect yourself because he won't.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2014): Very delicate question to answer. There's not much to go on based on his past relationships which is where I would have looked. He may be with you because he does, in fact, love you but has a different type of love that would be expected in a heterosexual relationship.
I know of a couple who seem to be together for reasons other than sex. They sleep in separate beds, separate rooms. He, on one hand, surrounds himself with women - has all, mostly attractive, women friends with the exception of one male friend who no longer lives in the area. His FB page is filled with attractive young women some of which he doesn't personally know. Is known to be an office flirt but consumating a relationship doesn't seem to be part of the picture. How do I know this? I know one lady he had a brief extramarital affair with. She left him for all the obvious reasons and for another man she is now very happy with.
His wife, on the other hand, seems to be a very caring person - loves animals and nature but is unatractive and 11 years his senior. She's also pretty much of a loner. What's more, I understand she suspects his tendencies but he seems to do a good job of hiding any relationships. I don't entirely understand this but is utterly unfair to her.
In your case, he may have found security and caring from you but may want to play out a different side with friends and through social media. Hard to say. Either way, you owe it to yourself to find out and yes, snoop if you have to. At the end you'll have to do what's good for you. Good luck!
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