A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay i'll try make this short as possible.ive been seeing my boyfriend since early febuary, we had a falling out around may and had a break for a week then got back togeather so have been on and off ive felt very insecure in our relationship up until 2 months ago when he started to make an effort and ive met his family, gone to outings lunches etc and he even told me last week that he realises hes treated me like crap and that hes ready to fully commit, which is great but... hes living with his best friend hes known since he was five, who i have not met and he stays at my house all the time and never takes me to his, if we go there he parks outside and tells me to wait in the car.it really hurts me and i dont get it?is he afraid his friend wont like me, think im not good enough, ashamed of me?im not ugly am at university i wouldnt be ashamed of me so im just so confusedplease help
View related questions:
a break, best friend, insecure, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionokay his best friend is a male, the only other person that lives there is his friends girlfriend. its not drugs because i know he smokes every now and then which i dont mind as long as he dosnt make it a habit, i asked him last night why he never asks me to come in, stay etc he said "im taking it at my own pace" i dont know what he means by that i told him that that wasnt a reason and that its really hurting me so he said "we'll talk about it tomorow and i move at my own pace and am not sorry about that." hes invited me to his work function tonight so after, im going to give him an ultimatum invite me over or im through. to me this is not the type of behavior of a commited relationship he said he was wanting the other week.i love him dearly and have had alot of commited relationships and never cared for someone like i do for him, ive waited for him to be ready for commitment and we have been through alot of trying things togeather. apart from this issue we are very happy.i just dont know what to do, say, etc...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): It could be any number of things but it's not you he's hiding but he is hiding something.
There is something there he doesn't want you to see.
Is his friend female? Maybe they're not just friends, his place could be a total mess. They could be doing drugs there or he might have another woman living there, he's hiding something.
He could just be keeping you and his friends separate for other reasons too. He might want a quick exit with no fuss if you break up, maybe he's not thinking of having a future with you and doesn't want the added complication of you being friends with his friends.
The only way to find out is ask him what the deal is, he's your boyfriend he should give you a good reason. Now I have to say, if you have even the slightest suspicion that what he says is lame or an excuse then trust your gut, if it sounds like a bad excuse then it's a crock of shit. No matter how convincing he tries to be if his reason makes no sense or seems odd then it's lies. Seriously I don't know how many girls I've seen get fooled by some bullshit excuse like that, some lame excuse they rather believe than not because they don't want to create drama then they find out what he was really hiding and it crushed them.
If he won't give you a reason at all then you're in trouble. If he says he's not hiding anything then he's lying, he might even try the "don't you trust me?" card to try and guilt you into not prying any further. But seriously don't let this go until you find out. If he keeps refusing then next time you're in the car outside his just go inside and say you're dying to use the toilet and can't hold it.
Have a read of this and consider what it says carefully.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/women-actions-speak-louder-than-words.html
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): Is it maybe because his friend is female and he is afraid of your reaction?Or maybe his place is a bit messy hehe.Maybe asking him,you know confronting him with your worries and questions.There must be a reasonable explanation for his behavior.Maybe he just cant tell you out of his own.Maybe he doesn't even realize the way he's been acting.
...............................
|
