A
female
age
51-59,
*reamgirl_2010
writes:I've been seeing someone for seven months. We see each other about once a week. We talk on the phone once or twice a week, but otherwise we communicate by email. He used to have his two kids with him most of the time and now his ex-wife has them more often. I've noticed when he does not have the kids that he either gets sick, does not want to spend time with me other than once a week, and his frequency of communication decreases. I hardly heard from him yesterday. When he surfaced this morning he said in his email that he fell asleep and by the time he woke up last night it was too late to write/call. Whenever we're together we drink. His ex- is an alcoholic and I know he likes to drink. I'm beginning to think that either he has a drinking problem or he's seeing someone else. I don't know how to address this problem with him, but it's driving me crazy. I've never had a relationship with someone that has a drinking problem, so this is all new to me. Could someone please help me make sense of this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Alcoholics and alcohol abusers do all sorts of things.
My spouse is an alcoholic...it is really subtle and really devastating until someone gets treatment. Took me years to know that it was a problem, hidden drinking is really hard to pick up.
Take a look at this website and it may help you. http://www.lanarkleedsaa.org/pages/aboutaa/are_you_an_alcoholic.htm
It may help him.
Not all alcoholics look or act alike.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Could be both. The eradic behavior is pretty common in substance abuse cases. My guess is he does have a drinking problem. That could explain his behavior and could also facilitate cheating. I think you need to have an honest talk with him, face to face, and let him know you're concerned about him and what's happening to your relationship. Don't bring up cheating, just see how he responds.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): If he is not willing to work on his drink dependancy you could be in for a lot of heartache. I dont think he is giving you the attention you deserve and if I were you I would distance myself from him and get on with your own life and see how he behaves. If he wants you he will know where to find you. The clue here is that he and his ex are drinkers and it sounds like he still has a problem. Think about what you want for your future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): I have a feeling you are not the only woman he is seeing. You only see him once and week and when you do communicate he makes lame excuses as to why he hasn't contacted you.
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...
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