A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my best mate been friends for just over three years now, we first met in our year eleven maths class. From the moment we met people started calling us twins as we were so much alike, we even caught ourselves saying the same thing at the same time at points.Whenever I needed someone she'd be there and whenever she needed me I'd be there for her. Even now when we don't go to the same college, we are always on the phone to each other or seeing each other between our course work, we'd put each other before our boyfriends to just hang out. I met my boyfriend shortly after meeting her and we've been together for nearly three years now, he was my first and he is second best friend, he knows everything about me, I've always been one to keep a long term relationship as all I ever wanted was a family of my own with a husband that I always wanted.My best mate also wants the same in life, but she acted differently with guys, she never found the right one and once she even cheated, I know she feels horrible about it as she has never forgiven herself for it. Then a few months ago we just got so caught up in everything else that we stopped talking for a few months until we bumped into one another in town, after that we went out and always kept in contact. I invited her around for my birthday for a BBQ, and it was the first time she ever met my boyfriend. I'm not normally one for getting jealous, including when it came to my best mate, but for some reason I felt like I had to show her that he was mine and mine only, so I kept cuddling him when she thought I didn't see her watching him. The best way I thought would stop what ever it was in it's tracts was to invite her and her boyfriend around for a film night. Me and my boyfriend never met hers and if they became friends then I thought she wouldn't act the way she was with him. On the day that we all met up she ignored my boyfriend totally and we just left the boys to get to know one another, so I just told myself that it was me being silly. Then we all went out to the cinema and she started to talk to my boyfriend more, but she wasn't flirting like she was at my birthday. A few nights after she asked for my boyfriends number but I just pretended I forgot to send it to her, although her boyfriend gave her it. She kept texting him and messaging him over Facebook, but I just told myself that it was her being her and I was over reacting. Then my boyfriend mentioned that it was getting a little weird, that he wasn't comfy with her doing it. I had no idea what to do, so we ignored it, then last night it really bugged me, my boyfriend just passed his driving test and wanted to show off. So he wanted to show off to my mates boyfriend so I called her to see where they were. She was out with a load of people that I hadn't seen in a long time, so I jumped out of the passenger side to say hi to everyone, only to have her jump in next to him and them drive off. They were gone for only five minutes so I guessed they went around the corner, but when they got back she was trying to get me to sit in the back, so she could sit next to him, so I told her to move and she got angry with me.Now I'm not sure if it is just me being silly, but I found that a little odd. Why is she getting funny because I want to sit next to my boyfriend in his car, and they have only met a couple of times?Sorry for wasting time, but I really don't know what to think...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): She possibly has self esteem issues that need to be addressed. Given the length of your friendship you can probably tell her to cut out what she is doing BUT you could be kind to her and ask her to open up to you about what she really feels. It could actually be something completely unrelated to boys that she is feeling worthless about - does she get on okay with her parents and so on? It does seem to me that she has kind of fixated on your boyfriend but may not necessarily fancy him at all - instead she could be looking for a 'quick fix' of attention/one upmanship on you - give her the benefit of the doubt and maybe try to find out what is underlying it all whilst also making clear that he is yours.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm actually 18, this is my little sisters account, she allowed me to borrow it just to see how it all works. I was also born late in the year so I was 15 throughout year 11. Sorry for the confusion!
And also thanks for the help
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): She should know better. That you BF says its awkward says A LOT. So you KNOW its just not you.
Time to tell cut her out and not involve her so much as she can't be trusted. Also, time for BF to even put up his boundaries and tell her flat out, Not comfortable with you texting me. You are my GFs friend, not mine. Thanks.
She complains to you, tell her you support him. A united front is always best for such instances.
Her BF and your BF are dudes, so there is no threat so their budship can still be maintained.
She's a mate poacher.
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