A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:We've discussed how we want our long distance:I stated I don't want tooo much communication (eg. no more than once a week. Maybe 2 weeks even. Or even once a month). He stated he didn't want to use social media like whatsapp.Our reasons were that social media is too simple and cheapens our experience together, as well as that too much communication will allow for arguments when not done right, mistrust, boredom, and lack of 'specialness' in having conversations.I think I may also be personally paranoid about the amount of long distance relationships gone wrong because of too much communication which caused too much neediness and didn't allow for the individuals to grow and be their own person, continue with their own interests etc.He proposed we write letters. And then we also settled on skyping twice a month. I found this idea perfect.Question is, we are both unsure. Are long distance relationships better or worse with limited communication?Facts:We're in our 20s.We've dated about 7 months. He's met my family etc.He leaves for a job in a WEEK to Switzerland.I'm in a completely different continent. I trust him. I love him. This is mutual.Our reunion is planned to happen in the next 6 months (Jan).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2015): you two are in a relationship but only think you two should talk twice a month? How does that even work? In my opinion communication is all you have in a long distance relationship. And if you don't have that then it's not much of a relationship at all.and when you care about that person which I'm assuming you do since you two decided on a long distance relationship you'd wanna talk to them everyday. make more effort to spend or text whatever you need too to keep the relationship strong and keep the bond between you two strong other wise one is gunna get bored or hurt.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 July 2015):
 Is this break just for six months and then he returns home or is this permanent? If this is permanent move for him will you be joining him eventually? If not, then I would strongly urge you to just go with the flow and know that all LDRs must have an end date, either one of you moves or the relationship ends. LDR is not a long term sustainable way to live.
If it's just for 6 months you can survive and it's not that bad but I would not set hard and fast rules for contact. I did LDR with my spouse before we were married. In fact the first year of our relationship was LDR. Granted it was close enough for weekend visits so it wasn't too bad but I have to admit I'd have been insane only having contact twice a month.
IN fact, we had a rule after we got serious that we had to have some form of daily contact even if it was just 5 minutes of phone time.
IN the end we let it roll day by day. Even now as a married living in the same house couple our interactions day to day vary. Some days we don't talk between waking up and getting home after work, other days we are on the phone every hour. Circumstances dictate contact needs and levels and setting hard and fast rules does not sound like a recipe for success.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (21 July 2015):
 I suggest do whatever seems natural at the moment. If you miss him, you should feel free to message him to let him know.. vice versa.I don't agree that too muchcommunication will hurt the relationship. Actually I believe in the contrary, the more communication the better. Often times, when in the presence of each other we take 'talking' for granted. We don't always take the time to talk to and listen to each other. That is because being physically together, we are doing things such as watching TV; watching movies; hanging out with friends and family; eating, etc Many activities take the place of actual communication, therefore we 'talk' less. When we call each other, our only focus is talking to each other. We recount our day, share memories, discuss future and goals. This is the time when we actually take the time to listen and get to know each other. This is why I feel you should keep the communication going it draws people closer, not further away.
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