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female
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anonymous
writes: Question: Is love enough?--------------------------I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months now - we knew each other for 3 yrs beforehand. In that time, he loved me from day 1, but I wasn't ready to settle with him at that point.Now we are together, he loves me very much and I have grown to love him.The only problem is that he does not earn much money, whilst I do! I am in a good job and a home owner, whilst he owns no home, and struggles to afford basic rental costs. He works as a builder, so has a lot of potential, it's just in the years I've known him, he has not driven himself to even set up a business, or really try to become financially secure.I am 32, he is 31. I am wanting to settle down now, and have kids. I just don't know if he is the man to do this with. Whilst he gives me so much love, and truly cares for me, I worry about the financial situation, should we settle down together.Am I being too fussy? I don't know. I've had lots of previos relationships with men who were in good jobs, had more ambition/drive, but they just didn't love me enough to want to commit!Now I have someone who is already committed to me - I just worry about how we make a life together?!Being the woman, and the person who would one day want to take some time off work to have children etc, I don't know how he could financially support us enough.I'm not a gold-digger - am very independent, strong and intelligent, but feel that I would always be the main driving force in this relationship, if I was to help us to become strong financially together. Not my ideal scenario, but at least I do have a lot of love and emotional support from him. And I know he would never cheat on me. I am emotionally stronger than he is and more intelligent.Am I being too insecure and settling for less? Or am I being too fussy in wanting more??!!I don't know what's right to do, and would welcome anyone's opinion.I don't feel ready to end things between us as I don't want to lose his love...I don't believe anyone would love me as much as he does.Thanks,Miss Worried XX
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male
reader, citizenlondon +, writes (3 December 2006):
I kinda have the same problem, only that I am the male in the relationship. I also feel its hard to decide what to do. I think there's only 2 appoaches to this. U either decide with your heart or with your brain.
A
female
reader, angel frm above +, writes (2 September 2006):
 Dear miss worried i am very happy for you that you have found a man who loves you so much maybe you should talk to him about his job and try to get him to drive for that better goal in life talk to him about what you want in the future, you should suggest to him about statring his own business. But if he cant be bothered to get out there and make some more money to be able to support you and a child or more then he isnt worth it if he loves you he will understand and make more of an effort if he doesnt and just says he does then he wont good luck
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A
male
reader, Green Eyed Gabriel +, writes (2 September 2006):
 Miss worried
If you love him you should tkae the chance he may well decide to buckle down if he has a wife and wants children... the instincts to provide will take over and you may well no longer have to worry. Of course if you worry talk to him. It's simple, say that you want children and he needs to be able to provide financial support for a family. It's difficult but if he cant or wont support for the family you want then you will have to make descisions as to whether he is worth not having a family for. But you will atleast be closer to working out whether you and he are right for one another.
Gabriel
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