A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok,rewind to start. In a moment of teenage rebellion, I (a typical goodgirl to my parents and teachers) decided to go on to a website which lets you talk to strangers.now, my parents hate the internet for one plain reason: you can talk to stranngers.But I still did..and I met this amazing guy. Not straight away, but...he was so great. We talked for hours and we even talked for days after that. Almost everyday since...and that was eight months ago. I was careful not to spill al my personal info, and all, but we both love each other (ironic, I know). I have seen him on webcam, but the problem really starts now.He booked his ticket to see me! Now, the problem is that I am kiind of shy, and dont leave the house, and the nearest hotel is at least fifteen minutes drive, the airport around an hour. I know that telling my parents about him is the same as suicide at this point, because they are right when they will not trust me, probably not even talk to me, and I won't be able to takl to him.I told hi all this, and he was so great, he understood, and cancelled, but is it wrong of me to stay in this relationship? Am i evil to ask him to wait a few years and go behind the backs of two incredibly important peole in my life? Honestly, i don't regret meeting him- just that i met him like THIS. What is the right thing to do? Please help!!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2012): ". . .is it wrong of me to stay in this relationship?"
What relationship? You're talking to a virtual stranger who is a face on a monitor about whom you know nothing except what he tells you, none of which you can verify. He could be 18, he could be 26, you just don't know.
"Am i evil to ask him to wait a few years and go behind the backs of two incredibly important peole in my life?"
No, just incredibly naive and ill-informed to ask a likely sexual predator to wait until you are mature and smart enough to see him for the creep he likely is. Very very VERY dumb to go behind your parents' backs on anything, they're a lot wiser than you think and they'll catch on soon enough.
"Honestly, i don't regret meeting him- just that i met him like THIS."
You haven't met him, and if you ever do meet him in person then you will almost certainly regret it. Drop all contact with this loser and come clean with your parents to retain their trust by letting them know you're smart enough to learn from your mistakes and honest enough to own up to them. Being honest and open with the two most incredibly important people in your life is something you will not regret.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 September 2012):
 I think if you feel THAT strongly about him you SHOULD tell your parents, they MIGHT surprise you.
Keeping the relationship behind their back will put a serious "dent" in the relationship.
And I DO think that is is possible to feel a sense of "love" for someone you don't know, but I will venture a guess that it 's really more about LOVING the IDEA of that person or the relationship. It's infatuation and it can be exhilarating.
How far away does he live? It is even REALISTIC to start something serious?
Before I met my husband, I was on a pen-pal sight and met a guy from NZ - we hit it off from the get go, but because if the distance we both had to realize that in reality, us being more then people who could talk to each other, laugh with each other, cry with each other wasn't realistic. I was not in a position to immigrate to NZ, he wasn't in a position to move to my country either. Even visiting was way to expensive. However, he was a wonderful guy and looking back I DO think, I thought it was love, but in reality it wasn't. It was 2 people who had a great connection - that isn't really love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2012): Honeypie,Thank you for answering. I'm 16 and he's 18. I agree, when I say love, I have no idea whether I'm right or not. It may be teenage infatuation, but I've felt that before. This...this feels different. It feels like everything is on this dangerous edge off a cliff and one wrong move ends a wonderful dream. It's like I'm risking a lot, but I can't stop myself. And I dont feel disappointed by it. And yes, you have no idea how much my parents mean to me. It hurts to do it, but again, I don't repent it. I know that the great feeling I've felt these last few months...I wouldn't have got them otherwise. Also, what do you think I should do? Should I end it? I just want to do the right thing, but what if I'm throwing away a good friend at the least, a great relationship at the most?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 September 2012):
How much older is this guy? How well do you REALLY know him. People will tell you EXACTLY what they think you want to hear in order to get X,Y,Z from you.
And LOVE? Honey... Infatuation, lust, crush, adoration, admiration is not too hard, but actual love I think takes a LOT more then just talking on the internet together.
It's like fantasy or role play if you will. You have NO actual idea of what he tells you is true or not.
I can't really say much more til I know how old you and this guy are.
Though, going behind your parents back.. is not very smart. You have already eroded some of the trust they have in your, and they don't even know it.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (8 September 2012):
If he is about your age, I don't see whats wrong with this relationship. Again, as long as he is about your age. Because you didn't mention it.
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