A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Dear Agony AuntI am so mixed up right now, I came out of a long term relationship last June 05 after 19 and a half years and even though my ex lied to me for over 2 and a half years, I get on really well with him as we have a business together and work with each other every day and have a 5 year old daughter together. He moved out last June after 10 months of searching for someone nearby to rent. It works well and I am fine with all of that. The problem I have right now is that I met a man who is a widower of twin boys (aged 7)last September when my daughter started school, and it was instant attraction for me and love at first sight. I think he likes me and he waves at me every day and talks to me and I bought him a little gift as a joke last November and helped him order oil for his heating recently and he has let me have his contact numbers and address so that he can help me pick up my daughter if the weather gets bad and his vehicle can handle the roads better where we live. He lives about 5 mins away from me. His dead wife's best friend helps him with his boys once a week at weekends and is also their godmother. He goes to functions with her so he is not on his own and as far as I know they are not romantically linked in any way.I would love to send him an anonymous Valentines card but do not know if this wrong as it has not even been a year since his wife died (that would be June this year). She was ill with breast cancer for a long time and I get the impression that it was a relief in the end. His sister died of the same two years before his wife was diagnosed. I want him to know that he is cared about but also do not want him to feel awful that someone feels that way about him. I do not know if it is another milestone for him to get through without his dead wife like Christmas was for him. He copes outwardly extremely well and does not live at his wife's grave as I live near the church. He is such a helpful guy and good looking in a friendly way not Brad Pitt way, and most of the mums think he is lovely.What do you think I should do? How should I approach things after Valentines day as well as we are all off for half term so I won't see him that day or that week?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2006): I agree with Shania. Not 100% sure a valentines card is the way to go. Get to know this man first. Invite him round for coffee/dinner. Pop round and say "hi". Get close.
A
female
reader, shania +, writes (7 February 2006):
 You could send him a card but would he really know that it came from you? You sound really keen on him and he seems to be getting good support from friends etc.As he lives only 5 mins from you,why dont you invite him round for coffee? or would he like to come out for a drink? Ok....you are probably thinking that you havent got the nerve to ask him and the thought of it makes you nervous but at least you will know for sure whether he likes you or not...yes he knows you as a friend but maybe he is too shy to ask you out but why not give it a go...you have nothing to lose and its not like your asking him to marry you so go for it....life is too short.Good luck.
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