A
female
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anonymous
writes:Ok This is a weird question- But is it morally wrong to want to have a host mother have your kid instead of you having your kid( ie your usbands sperm with your own egg, but another woman carries it till birth?) Even if you are slightly infertile but dont want to carry it? I am only a teenager, but I am deeply into school and architecture and I am planning on heading a firm, and any notion of a child in the future seems utterly disgusting( to have to leave for pregnancy and whatnot) As there is seemingly no way if I am running the firm. Also, I have a phobia of pregnancy and child birth- as thinking about it makes me terribly sick- although I do want to spread my crest.. I am young, but I have been thinking about it a long time, as many people I have talked with say have your kid before you turn 30 etc. its better etc. Although I wont even be out of college by then, none the less establish a carreer. So is it wrong to just have a host mother ( not surrogate mother) but a host mother to have my egg matched with a husbands sperm or is that just.. immoral? I dont think I would want to carry the child- I have a history of reproductive problems, anorexia and anxiety and depression and I just see all the hormone and body changes as a big mess, I see myself having postpartum depression and all that ruckus. But i dont want another woman to have her egg paired with a husbands egg- I want my genes in the kid. Plus I have a very busy schedule. Is this wrong? Its finanicially doable.Any insight is needed.Thanks
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female
reader, Zoie +, writes (13 November 2006):
 its all really up to you if your unable to get pregnant then it would probley be a good idea to do that but if your to busy to even care for a child then i would say no wait until you are truley ready to have a kid wait til you are finished with school and everything is setteled down kids take alot of time and it dosnt sound like you have the time. my advise would be wait until you dont have any doubts and you are truley ready and time to have a child.
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (16 October 2006):
If you haven't got time to be pregnant how can you possibly have time to have a child?? Don't do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): Who's morals are u basing this question on? I'm sure quite a few religious people will think it's immoral, depending on their denomination and upbringing. I believe this is up to you and no one else.
Aside from it being morally right or wrong, you seem to have some good intentions anyway. The thing to think about though, is how you will keep that relationship with that host mother in the future.
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