A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: is it wrong to like my cousin?we are related by mariage...not by blood and i like him a lot. i can tell he has some kind of interest in me and i want us to have a relationship but at the same time i dont want ppl to judge i mean its not like we are actual family by blood and we are perfect for each other....what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): first off all noone can say its wrong to love because you cant control who you fall in love with for instance i am in love with a teacher which is technichly "forbidden love" but the feelings are not wrong.
If you decided to act on these feellings then it depends what you mean as wrong it is not illegal so its just what your family and friends think is wrong but only you know how they will react.
you will not be doing anything wrong so go for it girl xx and i hope you find this helpful xx
A
male
reader, y007steph +, writes (29 July 2010):
If you are not blood related then your love is without any problem. But be prepared to that your cousin may feel differently than you feel.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (29 July 2010):
Maybe this is just me but how is he your "cousin" if he is not related? Generally a cousin is the child of your aunt/uncle? So if he is not related then I would imagine your aunt/uncle has gotten re-married and the new husband/wife has children from a previous marriage? Please try and clear that one up for me as it does not make much sense saying he is a "cousin" if he is not related by blood!
But if he is not your aunt/uncles child by blood, and is just someone who has come into the family following another marriage etc then there is no real reason why it is "wrong" so to speak. If he is not related by blood then there is no chance of having children with birth defects, deformities or health problems due to inbreeding therefore technically there is nothing wrong with having a relationship.
But I guess your family will be the only issue you two will have if you want a relationship - so the question is, is he worth the risk of your family judging you and possibly alienating you from the family group? Or do you worry so much about what other people think that you could never choose a man over your family? It is entirely up to you - your family may be ok with it, but then again your family may not approve and will make you both outcasts from the family group. So only you can judge how your family would react to the news.
Are you close to your mum or sister, or bother or aunt? If you have a close family member who you feel you can talk to in confidence then I suggest having a chat with them. Explain that you and your "cousin" are interested in each other and are thinking about a relationship, but nothing has happened between you so far because you are worried what the family might think. Then see what your close family member's reaction is, and ask them how they think the others might react.
Only you can decide this one I'm afraid, in the eyes of the law and in terms of future children no you are not doing anything wrong, but in the eyes of your family it could be a very different matter and only you can tell how they will react.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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