A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help, I have not had any close relations with any male. I wanted to wait for the right man. Now I have fallen in love with my colleague who also loves me, he cares for me and is a very helpful person and we are close. I want to go all the way with him but he is married...what should I do? I do not want him to leave his family for me. Is it wrong to have an affair when we love each other?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): im doing the same thing. its a tough one. avoid it if you can, the situation will screw with your head, but you will be helpless to do anything about it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): Not only is it wrong, it's unfair to all involved... you'll only ever be getting a small portion of him - his time and soul -- and that'll only be when he wants to, so you'll be left waiting around.
His family, in the meantime, will have time stolen from them that he could be spending there AND if he does decide to leave them for you, you're playing a very big part of destroying a family. Yes, that's HIS family & his responsibility, but because you know about them, you're just as responsible for hurting them.
You like him and you want to be with him --- but that's not reason enough to hurt someone else! That's selfishness, putting your wants & needs ahead of another person's.
And, by the way, even though you think this guy is lovely - he's not... he's a guy that is willing to cheat on his wife & hurt her in the worst possible way if she were to find out. That is not a nice person.
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A
female
reader, sharon_jillbug  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 Yeah its wrong I had the same question and i got the same answer. I was told that if the guy really cared about you he wouldn't put you through this...in other words he wouldn't have let things get this far.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): You know perfectly well that it is wrong.Think about his wife and family. Would you like it if you were married and your husband wanted to have an affair with another woman?In any case, even if you embark on an affair, the odds are that he will most likely not leave his wife. He'll just have her and you on the side. In other words, there would be no future for you in getting involved with him.You say you wanted to wait for the right man. Well, keep looking. Your colleague, who would cheat on his wife, isn't the right one. You can do much better.
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A
female
reader, CynthiaRenae +, writes (2 October 2007):
Sister if you have to ask you already know the answer! Don't fall for this dirt bag. That's all he is for leading you on. He's married and has his own problems. Good for you for waiting! I'm sure you'll find an even better guy who will not put you in any kind of jeopardy. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (2 October 2007):
 Short answer is YES, it is wrong.
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