A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it wrong to have a crush on someone if your married and have kids?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): There is no need to feel guilty. One question we need to ask - is "faithfulness" a man made construct? Too often people talk about "vows" and promises. What about instincts and honesty? Are we humans instinctively inclined to stay with one partner forever? If so why is it a battle for many? Evolution has not indicated this but "man" has chosen to exert some kind of control on our natural feelings by invoking all kinds of moral or religious beliefs to ensure we deny our true selves. Perhaps if the stigma attached to following our insticts was removed we would be surprised that in fact not many people would be "unfaithful". It is the lure of the frobidden which causes all the excitement.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Amen to that.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 Having a crush is normal, regardless of your marital status. ACTING on it, if you promised you would not is the thing that is wrong.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (24 September 2007):
 i thinks its ok, but as long as that is where it ends. We cant control who we like really and its nice every now and again to get that feeling likeyour 16 again. But thats where it ends and aslong as you do love your husband its ok.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): I completely understand this im 21 with 2 kids and often feel as if im going on 40. It nice to feel your age now and again, I don't think you need to worry, as long as you could trust yourself if you were left alone together for an amount of time. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim 23 and have three kids ,my husband is the nicest guy you could ever meet and i love him . but i feeling so old , every time i look in the mirror i see an older person , that is until my husband brought new friend home ,we only joke around and play fight but he made me feel younger then i have in years
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): Hi Love,
I think if you have a real crush as in you cant take your mind off this other person, Then there is something missing from your relationship, If you feel this way can you say you dont love your partner anymore? or maybe something has happenened and you have both lost your way with each other...Its so easy to forget what it used to be like before the children came along.
I cant say if its wrong for anyone to have a crush, Im not everyone but it would be wrong for me, As I would then no I had a real problem with my partner, everyone can find others attractive then its forgotten, its when you cant get that other person out of your mind It becomes a problem. I hope that helped love TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (24 September 2007):
 I don't think its wrong to have a crush on someone if you are married, but that is where it ends. Don't persue anything because ultimately you will be being unfaithful. This crush will not last forever and will eventually die out naturally.
All the best x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): A crush is harmless as long as you dont decide to act on it. be careful the crush doesnt turn into lust, obsession and regret.
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