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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi,My boyfriend and I have been talking for about 19 months but we've only officially been dating for 14 of those months. He's 20 and I'll be 19 in September but neither of our families has a problem with us being together. We've had our ups and downs but we have a strong relationship where he holds me down and I always have his back in return. About 3 months ago we stopped using condoms and now our only protecion is "the pill" and pulling out. Neither of us is ready for a baby but I often wonder what it would be like to be pregnant. I'm going to college next month so we won't be able to spend as much time together. I've been encourgaged by some current college students to end my relationship before I start school because it won't last. My boyfriend and I, however, believe that we are going to be together until the end of time. If our finances were right and we were about 5 years older, I would be a wife and mother right now... Is it wrong to be this ready or is it just that I'm more mature than most females my age?Thanks,Crazy in Love
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 July 2010):
 There's nothing wrong with planning AND the "pulling out" method isn't a real safe method of birth control 'cause that little biyt that is extruded prior to intercourse if full of sperm too.
A
female
reader, loraemoon  +, writes (9 July 2010):
 its nice to think your be together for ever but sometimes that doesent happen for many reasons., if you are going to college to study i would wait for the baby part, you mat feel ready and yes you probaly are but think first,its not up to anyone to tell you weather your relationship willwork or not
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A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 It's not wrong, however I wouldn't necessarily call it a sign of maturity. There are plenty of women older than yourself that don't want or aren't ready for marriage and motherhood, as well as many young girls that want to have children and marry their boyfriend of six months before they even reach 15. Obviously this isn't the case for you, and you do come across as mature for your age, but I'd consider that feeling a sign that you love him and see a future with him more than anything else.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 July 2010):
 I don't think you are more mature than most females your age. Many females your age feel the exact same way, and are ready for a family, or already have one. They say females mature faster than men, which I believe to be true. We are also often trained from an early age to be mothers and make families. In the feminist perspective there is still a lot of sexist treatment when it comes to the upbringing of children. So it is no surprise that females your age are eager to start a family. No offense, but you can wonder why males seldom feel this ready at 19.
Nothing wrong with being mature, and definitely nothing wring with keeping your boyfriend through your studies. It may not work for some, but I've never heard of couples who break up over studies. Couples often break up over distance though. Stay with your man and work towards your goals.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (8 July 2010):
 Maturity is about having an open mind to all possibilities. That includes the possibility of your relationship not working. That doesn't mean you should always think the worst, it just means you keep your mind open. Close minded people are unable to prepare for what hardships might lay ahead. You may think things are good and your relationship can survive college, but unless you're open to the possibility of it not... how can you protect against it?
Whether you believe it or not, you are still young. And also, you haven't been together THAT long with your boyfriend. I don't recommend breaking up with your boyfriend like those other girl's suggested. That's silly. If you really care about each other, do your best to plan on making it work. If your relationship survives then it will be that much stronger. THEN you can think about marriage and kids.
I'm not trying to discourage you. You just have to understand that when somebody says "I know I'm young, but I KNOW I'm ready!" it just comes off as more immature than mature. Actions speak louder than any words so stop worrying about what those other girls think and do what you think you are capable of doing. Prove them wrong by living a happy life with your boyfriend. :-)
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