A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've seen sites saying to get as many girls phone numbers as you can. To give you experience and therefore confidence etc. Other sites say it's cruel to get numbers and not call. On the other hand, girls sometimes give out false numbers or play other games that can make a guy feel bad. Your thoughts?
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (29 December 2015):
Absolutely fine not to call. You owe them nothing.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 December 2015):
 Sure it's OK to chat to a girl without asking for her number. You don't OWE a girl to call her later or want to get to know her because you chatted for 30 minutes or 3 hours.
And I think it's WAY more honest to NOT ask for a number, but just chat, than ask for her number and then not call.
On one of my overseas flights (before I met my husband) I sat next to a pretty nice dude whom I had a 6 hour conversation with, never thought to ask for his number and thought to give him mine either. IT was JUST pleasant conversation.
Being able to converse (even just small talk) seems to be something younger people have a harder time with these days because y'all so used to texting or just being buried in your tech.
TALKING/CHATTING to someone is a social exercise.
Saying: "Hey, it was nice chatting I gotta go, have a great evening or it's been nice meeting you" (or whatnot) is FINE. If she gets upset, well that is kinda on her.
But asking for her number KNOWING that you don't want to call her... is akin to stringing someone along. Having a chat isn't.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2015): OP to Honeypie, so if I just practiced by having a chat to a girl I noticed without asking for number, would that be ok? If she was enjoying the chat, wouldn't she be cheesed off if after a half hour or hour chinwag, I just said "nice talking to you, bye"? I've seen them getting upset. Not saying that not calling back wouldn't do this, but so would the chatting only also be. It could be that after the discussion with her, I decide she's not what I want.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2015): I don't get why you want to have numerous amounts of phone numbers and not calling any of them. Who will be impressed by how many numbers you have?
Is this just to prove a point to yourself that you can get girls even if you don't want them? If you are looking for an ego boost then surely being able to get a number and then talking to somebody to build a friendship or relationship is better.
Do you live your life by what you look like to other people. A bit pointless if you ask me. It's not cruel it just makes you look a bit silly.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2015): this is being done through voice so I'm sorry if it comes out looking funny. I do think it is cruel to take a number if you do not plan to call. I used to be that girl that did that just out of politeness or because I didn't want to embarrass him by turning them down where people could hear me. I thought,
incorrectly, that since I didn't really know the guy it would be okay to just fade away. it made for awkward situations when he saw me again later and confronted me about why I didn't call.once, I even had a man get so angry with me for not calling, that he kept coming into my work and demanded to know why I didn't call. then he would come in and just stare at me the whole time, or, when I was talking friendly with another customer, he told the man I was a manipulative ditch and a player and I couldn't even eat lunch in my car without him parking across from me and staring me down. women can get just as crazy. it feels awkward, when offered or asked for a number, to tell them that you're really not looking for that and that you didn't mean to give that impression. but it really is the best route. I think it is rude 4 women together the wrong number but I think they do that because they don't want to embarrass the guy or they just feel awkward and don't know how to say they won't be calling. if this happens a lot, you may have to do what I had to do: stop and think about what you're doingthat gives the impression that you're interested in any more than casual conversation over the Internet or just a one time thing when you ran into her in a pub or coffee shop. I agree that you should only take numbers from people you plan to call and maybe it would be better if you met these ladies somewhere where you already had something in common such as volunteering, a book club, place of worship, or anywhere where you interact with them for a while before you decided to spend time with them outside of that. just my two cents.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 December 2015):
I agree with Boo
Don't ASK for number from girls you don't really WANT to call. This isn't 5rd grade where you have to impress your male peers in just how many numbers you can get...
If you need to "practice" asking for numbers, you no doubt need practice in talking to girls too....
And can you seriously say that it's CRUEL for a girl to give out a fake number? When guys like you like to collect numbers to stroke your own ego? Think about that....
Many girls are raised to be nice. They haven't been taught that it's OK to tell a guy no, I don't want YOU to have my number, so the solution is.. they hand out a fake one. Not the smartest thing in my book, but I do get it. And really... IF you got a fake number... is that girl really someone you would want to get to know?
If you meet a girl you are really interested in getting to know don't just ask her for her number, make sure she gets yours too.
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A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (27 December 2015):
 Why don't you just take numbers from girls you really do want to call?End of problem x
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