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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend and I are quite close although have only been together for a few months or so. She is very attractive and gets lots of attention. She has a male friend called James, who she has known for a while, who used to fancy her,(Im not sure if he still does) however she meets and communicates with him quite often. She also gets txts from other people that I know fancy her, asking to meet her as friends, however, she still wants to meet them saying they are just friends to her, so it does not matter. I have on a couple of occasions stopped her from seeing these people who fancy her. I have also got fustrated with her seeing James as i believe he still has stronger feelings, with good reason. Am i wrong to feel like this? Is it wrong for her to have male friends who fancy her? Is it wrong for me to get involved? What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2005): im in the same situation. my bf gets jealous of me talking to male friends but there is no need. i have more male friends than female, for no particular reason other than they are a hell of alot easier to get along with than females sometimes.what you have got to understand is females can be bitches at times, with men its different,my best friend is male and i adore him. it is possible for opposite sexes to have a non sexual relationship. beleive me. who better to give advice on your man problems than someone who really knows how they work. women do just as well but tend to put a blinker on things as they feel more compassion over situations, men are blunt and honest, you need both for good advice which you dont always get with girls. i dont think you have anything to worry about personally, but talk to her if you havent already. tell her how you feel and work something out, if she doesnt take your feelings into account and reassure you on this she cant think that highly of you anyway. under no circumstances expect her to give up her friends, they are the very people who make us who we are and thats what attracted you in the first place.remember just because james may have feelings for her, she is with you and it doesnt mean the feelings are or ever will be reciprocated. if she was interested she would have chosen to be with him, not you.chin up, and dont worry.
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