A ,
anonymous
writes: My husband has been working abroad for many years now. I visit him often for long periods. But the last two years has put a real strain on our marriage. He often goes to thailand by himself for weekends and never tells me.I also found out he had a weekend away with a girl young enough to be his daughter (he is 59).Just someone he met in a bar, he said, but receipts I found showed different. He has no guilt. Just tells me to forget about it and get on.When I'm out there he often goes out with the lads and sometimes dosn't come back till morning.I know these girly bars stay open all night but its hard when your husband comes back with lipstick on his collar. I feel hurt pain and anger which probably doesn't help our marriage as all I want to do is hurt him like he has hurt me. When ever I ask him to talk he never replies. He has said to friends he had 4 years of freedom and he intends to enjoy himself untill he returns to the UK. How do i forget all that has happened in the past.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, niki, writes (25 February 2005): The question is, do you want to forget it? or can you forget it?IF he goes away for a long time, it does not change the fact that he has a wife, this is utterly selfish of him and extremely cruel, does he not care how it makes you feel? especially if he does not give you answers as to his whereabouts.I would be appalled if my boyfriend went away for a weekend with another girl and then told me to forget about it! Why should i? What is the point of having a relationship if it is one way and how would he feel if we did the same?From the way you have written this it seems that you have quite an open relationship anyway, but i would not stand for what he is doing to you. I would tell him that he had made a commitment to me, and he cant brush me off and tell me to forget it, we shouldnt have to. If he wants 'freedom' i'm sure that he could think of a far better way of having it than having affairs.I'm not surprised that you want to hurt him as he has hurt you, who wouldnt?? In my opinion, you do not need to forget it, you should move on. He is not making you happy and you shouldnt have to put up with it.Do you really want to live like this?
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