A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I always listen when my wife is talking about the items she'd like, then I can get her the perfect gifts for Christmas and her birthday, even if it's months away. All year I mention things I'd like, just as she does, and around Christmas she always gets flustered and says "I never know what to get for you!" Then she ends up getting me some last-minute item she sees at the store, or something she would buy for herself. It's getting kind of old. It doesn't make receiving Christmas gifts special at all for me. This is probably selfish of me (she doesn't know she's doing it) but is it wrong for me to expect her to pay a little more attention when I talk about things I'd like?I love her and it's who she is.
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (6 December 2009):
 Some people are good at buying gifts, others are not.
If this is her only vice, then learn to life with it. You could subtly hint at it, or talk about (after christmas) the gifts she has given in the past and how they are less then ideal but that could hurt her feelings. She might be trying but just not get it right and honestly think that the gifts she gave were liked.
Just proceed with care here. People got fragile ego's.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): have you tried TELLING her what you want? oh, i forgot she doesn't listen. the only way to get it into her head what you like and for her to listen is to outright TELL her that she doesn't listen to you. i have told my hb this myself and he has also told me this a number of times. now we try to listen to each other as much as we can. yes we mess up but it is not as bad as before. sometimes subtely gets you nowhere -only frustrated and resentful;. so just tell her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): Don't be too subtle. Try making it a little more obvious that you are dropping her hints. After talking about something you want, try saying "you know, this could give you an idea of what to get me for Christmas ;)".
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (6 December 2009):
Do what I do. Make a list and stick it to the fridge in November.
Then add things to the list as you think of them.
It's less subtle but gets results.
Good Luck!! xx
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