A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I expected this guy to tell me he liked me but he didn't and now high school is officially over for us both. This is the silly part. We have NEVER had a conversation with each other. We are also possibly complete opposites. He's very popular and confident and if you ever saw him, you would probably stereotype him as the "bad boy" He had a couple girlfriends before (not a ton though and I never see him engaged in PDA) and he has a reputation for partying. I'm not exactly socially awkward or unpopular. I'm not exactly your standard beauty. I dress well but I'm kinda short and chubby. I do not party, drink, or do drugs. I work very hard in school and I take fairly challenging courses. We only had classes together freshman and sophomore year where I shared a couple of honors classes with him. We have an entirely different group of friends. Why do I think he likes me? I know I am going to sound silly but basically, he just stares at me. A lot, intensely, ever since freshman year. You can literally see his eyes looking up and down at me. We haven't had a class together since sophomore year but in senior year, our classes were right across from each other. We both had teachers who pretty much allowed us to wonder around a lot. He always walks over to my class and peers into the window where we frequently made eye contact. And whenever I leave my classroom to run an errand, about 5 seconds later he would come out of his own classroom and start walking across towards me and well, he just stands there looking towards my direction. When he's within my sight but he doesn't notice me, he acts very "thuggish" or rowdy with his friends but when he does notice my presence, he becomes very reserved and toned down.To be frank, I really did expect him to talk to me on graduation day. Well, he didn't. We then had an all night graduation event until 5am. Again I truly expected him to speak to me. He didn't. I am genuinely crushed over this. You probably ask why I like him when I never talk to him. All I can really give you is a cliched answer. I have always felt a connection to him, since freshman year, ever since I heard his name. I developed a crush on him in 10th grade and it became serious in senior. I just admire his confidence and charisma and I can't like anyone else. I'm also afraid that no one will ever look at me the way he does. I really want to confess to him. Even if it is not true that he has feelings for me, I want an answer. I'm tired of having this little fantasy of me and him together. I figured that it'll be okay for me to approach him because high school is over and I can just simply move on when i go off to college if he rejects me. The thing is I don't really know how to confess to him. I never talked to him. We're just way too different. I don't own a Facebook. It would be creepy if I knew his number. My friend has him added on Facebook. What can I do really? Should I even do it? What is your opinion on his feelings for me?
View related questions:
confidence, crush, drugs, engaged, facebook, move on, notice me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): Dear. You will never have to see him again if he doesn't agree.
Go for it! Tell him!
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (17 June 2011):
 Confessing to a crush all at once is a certain way to destroy your shot at it, despite what you see in movies. And as much as girls want guys to always make the first move, the downside of that approach is that you will miss opportunities as the object of your crush chooses easier targets - or as they approach him.
The two are closely related. If he had come up to you, what would you expect? Would you expect him to confess to having a secret crush for four years, or would you expect him to start a casual conversation that ends in him casually asking to meet up with you sometime? The latter is not only more likely to happen, it's more likely to lead somewhere.
It would also have been possible for him to approach, and for you to realize there was no chemistry. It happens. Rejection is only as awkward as you let it be. Haven't you seen guys in your school always making their first move on a girl right at the end of the year, so they have a whole summer if they get rejected? They fear rejection, and that fear gives it power. Rejection need not be anything more than a few moments of disappointment, after which you move on.
The same lessons can apply to girls. If anything, it's more effective for girls. So many girls refuse to ever take risks or make the approach - the one that does can gain a decisive advantage in getting the boyfriend she wants.
So, make an approach, and make it casual. Add him on Facebook, or just go talk to him. Throw a get-together with a bunch of your friends and invite him. However you do it, go talk, say hi, take the risk of getting shot down, and just have a little conversation for a few minutes. Trade numbers and be on your way; call him later and set something up.
And if you get rejected? No big deal. You've built this guy up in your mind a lot, but there are a million more like him. Keep your mind open. Find a good one, they're out there. And in the future, give your heart to a guy after you've spoken to him and gotten to know him, not before.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2011): It's possible that he acts confident but isn't really and needs some help with approaching you. My guess is he wouldn't want to make a fool of himself in front of a crowd of friends in case you reject him. Most males fear rejection so need some help to ask a female out, whatever their age.
Could your friend help, as she has his facebook? She may be able to find out whether he is interested - sounds like he is - and engineer a situation where you and him meet with less people around, so you get to speak. You could always say something welcoming to him so that he can appraoch you. Even hi would help, and a question - something not too personal.
...............................
|
