A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: She's in a relationship with this guy for about 5 years now. She went through a lot of emotional hurt, got slapped once by her bf, and she cried a lot as well. Went through many break ups, but patched back with him. She claims he's possessive, insane and madly in love with her. She understands there are sweet moments involved over the years too, but she keeps forgiving him assuming that he might change and things will get normal again, but it's a cycle. It's hard for her to leave because of the amount of emotions involved. How long will this last? Will she come into her senses soon that this is unhealthy?
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male
reader, huhwtf +, writes (10 March 2011):
Been there and done that. I was in a pretty bad relationship for a while with emotional abuse, neglect and affairs. Each time we would break up I would only ever remember the good times. Either that or the good out weighed the bad. Calling it a cycle is not right its more like a trap. When you feel that strongly for someone you can put aside the negative and ignore the lasting damage they are doing to you.
At the end of the day its very difficult to completely break away from something like that, some people just cant do it. If she can break away then that's what she needs to do, its never worth being in that position even if you think its not too bad at the time.
From personal experience its hard but if she does break it off she needs to cut off all contact from him. Ignore him totally and let the healing begin, its the only real escape.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): It's never worth being in a relationship with someone who is emotionally and physically abusive.
Tell your girlfriend to sign up to dearcupid and read some of the posts under these headings.
If she stays with him her life will be a misery.
I wish her all the best.
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