A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a bit of a problem with my two best friends, let's says friend A and friend B. We're all around college age, early 20's.Lately I've been having a hard time with my roommate and possibly being on the verge of being homeless, and having problems with my family at home. I got into a bit of a fight with my boyfriend and called A and B to talk, as we always do with each other when we have problems. They decided to drive down to see me and instead of comforting me, they decided to bash my bf and try to convince me of breaking up with him, in which I defended him, saying I was happy overall in the relationship and that I had no intentions of breaking up with him.The next day I get accused by A of making my life a burden on the both of them. It came as a shock because we had always told each other that whenever we need to talk we'll be there for each other. She accused me of only wanting to hang out when I'm not with my bf. I replied back that I had asked countless times if both wanted to hang out. I usually never get a reply back from A and B is always with their bf. A then starts saying things like "you would do this or that for me", like how she drove to my house and that if she were in the same situation I wouldn't do the same. I reminded her that I didn't have a car, thus I don't have the availability to drive to her but I do talk on the phone with her. She then accused me of never picking up the phone when she needs me, but I've picked up the phone countless times, taking hours away from family dinners, new years parties, time with the bf to talk with her. When I don't answer its because my phone doesn't have service, in which case I gave her my itouch phone number (through an app) to get a hold of me. I was getting fed up with arguing and just simply asked her what she wanted me to do. But she kept wanting to argue and bring up old arguements we've had in the past, to the point where I gave her the option of coming up with a solution or stop being my friend because I was so tired to arguing. She's done the same thing to B and she's gotten mad at both of us multiple times before, claiming that we're bad friends.While I would really like this friendship to work, it baffles me by how many times she can get mad and at how many things. I always thought you do things for friends without having any expectations from them of getting anything back, and no matter what we argue about, we forgive and forget because we're friends. We had always agreed that we'd call each other about our problems but she seems to always use it against us.Is this friendship worth it? Especially when I have no doubt something like this will pop up in the future against either B or myself.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (5 March 2013):
 If you don't want to go through this again and keep the friendship, you may have to stop confiding in A. I believe there's a bigger problem that A's not telling you, so she's finding petty things to argue about. I could be wrong, but it is a possibility. But friendship is a two way street and both of you need to be happy with each other for it to work. That means you're satisfied with how and when she's there for you and vice versa. If you want a friend that's immature and can't be there for you without arguing, then keep the friendship. But if you want a better friendship, then let her go. Friends come and go and there's no needto keep ones who bring negativity when you really need the opposite.
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