A
female
age
41-50,
*trength
writes:Dear Cupid,I wrote to you previously about my boyfriend, now my X who I seperated with due to the arguing and the fact that i felt as though i was always there for him and he wasnt there for me and afew lies that he told, soo the trust went too. We have been over for 6 weeks and he called me a week ago saying that he missed me and that he loves me very much and misses me... hes just started uni and i think the uni buzz had worn off and hes realised its not all fun and games and wants a girl. Im 28, hes 22.. the age difference i think took its toll as we both seem to want different things.. i do love him very much and am soo tempted just to give in and get back with him, but it just doesnt feel right anymore. i feel like wev drifted apart and that hes not as in to me anymore, because i feel like if he really wanted to make things work hed make more of an effort perhaps.. im not sure. Im quite confused. If you've broken up with someone, can feelings develop and become the same again? i just dont feel close to him anymore, something seems to have gone.. but deep dwn im also worried that maybe thats the way things always go after time, we were together for 1 year, living together practically from the start. To be honest im not that into him either anymore... and maybe i still dont trust him and thats y im not letting go of my feelings. Do you think i should give him a 3rd chance? we split up and made up again in Feb...it took a while but my feelings for him did come back and we were ok for about 6 months but then started arguing again soon after..he put it dwn to practically living with eachother again.. i think its because our ideas of respect in a relationship are very different... this time however i dont think i can feel the same because i dont feel close to him anymore.. he said the way we will work is if we dont see eachother as often and we arent as in into eachother... i think he wants the stability of having a girlfriend, but also wants to do his own thing without me knowing... but then i think is it my imagination running away with me because ive been hurt in relationships in the past. Im just wondering whether anything will ever feel right with anyone ever???? I know im a good person, who has alot to give etc etc and i just think lifes sooo unfair that i always meet the same types of blokes who r very attracted to me to begin with, then realise i am a nice, reliable, giving person and ambitious with a good career etc and then they try to use me 4 what ever they can... what do u think?
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female
reader, Strength +, writes (17 October 2007):
Strength is verified as being by the original poster of the questionaww thanks for your advise, it makes complete sense.. I do value mayself, but i think i am tooo soft sometimes.. and in the end its right, if i take him back it condones what hes done b4.
Thanks 4 the advice xx
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (17 October 2007):
 Hi,
I think!!! you would be mad to bother.
You know you dont trust him, and you think he is going to use you just so he has a girlfriend. So whats to go back for really.
I know its dis-heartening when you feel like you will never meet the right one. But you have to kiss a few frogs to get the right TOAD (sorry prince) L.O.L.
Dont go back to the wrong one just because you haven't met the right one yet.
Lots of luck XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): I think that you meet the same people because you behave in the same way. I was in the same situation, but I learned to value myself, and have found that if you do, others will too. If you feel that you have drifted apart in only six weeks, then there isn't enough there to make it worth going through all the pain again. You have split up for a reason and his behaviour has made you feel bad. Taking him back now tells him that its OK for him to behave badly and treat you badly. Don't put up with that kind of thing, or it will continue. You sound like a nice person, you should value yourself, and take a stand. If he really wants you back, he needs to prove to you that he is worth the risk. Better still, find someone who is worthy of you.
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