A
female
age
41-50,
*olita
writes:Dear Cupid friends, Your advice has always been invaluable to me. A guy that I used to bump into after work ( we used to say hello) found me on facebook and then asked me to go out. I went out with him after work on Tuesday and I really liked him. He contacted me the next day and we started seeing each other every day. We just kissed as I did not want to rush into this. He told me that he was in a relationship for 6 years and broke up with his ex because she did not want to have a baby ( he felt it was time for him to settle down and have a family) so they broke up. I also told him about my previous relationship. So far so good! On Sunday he did not contact me ( neither did I) and he contacted me this morning so we met for lunch. And guess what! He told me that his ex called him yesterday to tell him that she reconsidered and she is ready to have a family. I immediately told him, ok go to your ex and all the best in making and raising your family!! He then told me that he did not mean that he wanted to go back and that he told his ex that he will think about it and that he really likes me and wants to see me. ( and that this was not for sex and that sex is ubiquitous nowadays ) he also told me that with his ex was never over excited; he was just settled with a nice girl who was not jealous as his previous girlfriends What would you do if you were in my shoes? Is it wise to just quit or continue dating this guy? Your advice is really valuable to me!! Thanks!!!!
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broke up, ex called, facebook, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lolita +, writes (19 March 2015):
lolita is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your responses! I just wanted to check his availability for drinks this weekend and he responded that he has many commitments and a birthday party. Obviously, the guy will be busy with his ex during weekend and he just wants me to have fun during lunch break and after work drinks time!! I don't want to see him again!
Thanks again for your responses!!
A
female
reader, lolita +, writes (19 March 2015):
lolita is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your responses! I just wanted to check his availability for drinks this weekend and he responded that he has many commitments and a birthday party. Obviously, the guy will be busy with his ex during weekend and he just wants me to have fun during lunch break and after work drinks time!! I don't want to see him again!
Thanks again for your responses!!
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (17 March 2015):
 Once again, I'm with Honeypie. He's got unfinished business elsewhere and the more time you spend with him the more involved you'll become and the harder it will be to walk away if that's what it comes down to later on.
That includes a friendship, by the way. Give him time and space to make his own decision, but don't wait around for him. You continue on your own, as a single woman. If he ends up wanting you, he can reach out to you and if you're still interested and available, you can see where it goes then.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2015): I have to disagree with the font MSA. I feel that would be overbearing.
You two are having a great time, he is single as are you. Continue seeing him and let things develop naturally.
It seems he realized he was not deeply in love with his ex and he has found something in you he really likes.
He very well could go back with his ex, or, you two could end up together.
I would not even mention her again or ask anything about her. She has nothing to do with your situation with him. No need to ever meet her. She is his EX.
So, just have fun and live freely.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 March 2015):
 I'd let him go. Because? He doesn't REALLY know what he wants. I would tell him that you will be willing to give him some time to think and decide which road he wishes to go down, but I would NOT continue to see him.
He really isn't in a place to DATE anyone.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (16 March 2015):
 I would tell him that you want to remain friends until he sorts things out with his ex. I will NOT continue dating this guy while he is still sorting things out. Once he decides he wants to pursue a relationship with you, he MUST let his ex know that he's already in a committed relationship with you.. better yet, introduce you to her.The both of you will need to discuss whether you want his ex in BOTH your lives (not just his life)... to what extent you want her in your lives and communicate any boundaries. This will save ptotential future issues related to this ex. Remember, this is someone he dated 6 YEARS, not 6 months.Maybe I'm just being over sensative, but I didn't appreciate him telling you that he was just "settling with a nice girl who is not jealous as his previous girlfriends". What is he trying to say? That you can't get jealous?Best of luck!
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