A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really need people help with this one girl. Me and her met like last month and I started liking her a lot and I don't know how she feels about me, but she always seem to ask me to take her to places when she depress and stress and she always tell me about her problems. I would always help her and I would always be there for her.What bother me is that my friend and them tell me that if I really want her to be more than a friend I have to stop being so close to her or getting involve with her problems because if I do then she just gonna see me as a really close friends and she would never be more than a friend to me. Is that true?I really need help because I don't know and have no experience about these things. Can I get some help from you guys please.Thank You. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (30 September 2011):
 "...she always seem to ask me to take her to places when she depress and stress and she always tell me about her problems."
I have never seen one of these setups where the guy is a listening ear turn into a romantic relationship. Not saying it's impossible, just saying I've never once even heard of that happening.
Ask her out immediately. Doesn't matter how or where, anything is better than nothing. I think it's already too late, but you may as well try. If you don't think it will work, see if she'll set you up with some of her single friends. If that doesn't happen, stop seeing her. It's very easy, in your position and especially at your age, to become so emotionally attached to a girl who doesn't return your feelings that you miss out on real opportunities - almost as if your heart decided you were in a relationship with her even while your brain knew that was not the case.
In the future, don't let girls just use you to dump their problems on.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (29 September 2011):
 For some reason young people in the United States think that relationships are like a video game. If you do A then she will do B. Real life is much more complicated than that, or, in other words, your results may vary. In general if the only contact you have with a girl is when she has a problem, she will see you as a girlfriend (only a friend), instead of as a boyfriend (romantic partner). But, that is not a fixed state and, as I said, "your results may vary".
Here is my advice, as a resident "old guy", for your situation. At your age a good friend is a very good thing to have. If you want the relationship to be more romantic, it is up to you as the man, to make the moves. She is waiting. Ask her out, and not for homecoming, just for dinner and some games or a movie. That is how you let her know you are romantically interested. It doesn't mean you are exclusive with her or even committed, it is just a date. All relationships are different some are like firecrackers, some are like a campfire with a glowing bed of coals. This one is likely to be more like the campfire, but guess which one lasts longer? Don't be in a big hurry to "score" girls don't like to be "just points".
In the long run successful relationships evolve into very close friendships. Even the firecrackers. Be happy for what you have.
FA
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