A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm really sorry if this is too long, but I really need some help. My boyfriend and I have been together for about two and a half months. We became good friends before we started dating, so we kind of had a strong connection right away. We've become even closer during the past couple months because we spend a lot of time together. I see him every day at school, and we hang out together on most weekends. So far, our relationship has been stable. We really haven't had any fights or anything. If we do have a disagreement about something, we're able to compromise right away. In some ways we're opposite, such as in our interests, but we get along quite well. He makes me really happy. However, this is where the problem comes in. He's my first boyfriend, so I'm still learning about this relationship stuff because I'm used to being single and independent. We both want our relationship to go slow and steady, and I want to go slow, but I'm not sure when the right time is to go a bit faster. Right now, we always say "I really really really really really like you" to each other. My feelings are strong for him, and I know he wants to say "I love you", but I don't want to say it just for the sake of saying it. Those three words mean a lot, and I want to make sure it's the right time to say them before I say them. I think my feelings are strong enough to say it to him, but the thing is, I don't know if two and a half months is too soon or not. Am I getting ahead of myself because he's my first boyfriend and I think I love him because our relationship is still in that perfect stage, or do I really love him and it's the right time to tell him and I'm just being stupid about this? I don't know. I don't know when the right time is to tell someone that you love them because I've never had to do this before. Some of our kisses have been very serious also, but we've never actually made out yet. We've talked about it, and he said he would wait until I was ready, but I'm not sure how to tell if I'm ready or not. I don't know when the right time is to make the transition from serious kissing to making out. Again, I'm new to the relationship deal, so I don't want to rush too much, but I want to move forward at the same time. We've also talked about having a serious relationship, and we don't want this to last for a couple months and be done like normal high school relationships. We don't want sex or anything related to that, and we want our relationship to be something real. As I said, we want to go slow and steady, but at the same time we're ready to move forward, and I'm not sure how to and if it's too soon or not. That's where I'm stuck, and I need some help. I would appreciate all of your answers very much, and thanks in advance. :)
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female
reader, Blod  +, writes (12 April 2010):
 I agree with you. When you're this age it's really difficult to know how serious and real your relationship and feelings are. It's really easy to get caught up in the moment. And like you said, you've never been here before and you don't know what to do.
So I think at your age, the best thing to do is to go with your feelings. If telling him you love him feels right, do it. You'll learn from your experiences whatever happens. Yes, it means a lot and you don't want to say those words for the sake of it, but if it feels like the right thing to do then why not? Youth is for living, and you'll learn from it.
As for taking your relationship to the next level, then just make sure that you feel 100% ready. Think about the situation and what it involves and if you feel any doubts trembling in the background, then you're probably not ready. Talk to your boyfriend about it. It should assure you either way. But be confident that it's what you want.
You'll know in your heart if you're truly ready for both of these things. Hope I helped. Good luck.
A
female
reader, bexyyy +, writes (12 April 2010):
 ok well it seems you do have strong feelings for him, anmd i respect that you are both taking things slowly sexually. thats good, if you are a virgin of course you want your first time to be with someone you love dearly. what you need to remember is THERE IS NO RUSH you are young and if you both like each other as much as you say you should be together futher down the line. so whats the rush of saying it, hes not going anywhere. you do really need to be sure, i told my boyfriend after two months of being with him that i loved him, i thought i did but i actually only really fell in love with him around the 6 month mark. take your time your young and the most important thing ENJOY YOURSELF, enjoy life and BE SAFE when the times right ;)
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