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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello people, I was wondering if anyone could give some advice on moving in with their partner? I have been seeing my boyfriend for around 4 months and just before we started seeing each other, he had put in an offer on a flat. I have also just moved into my own house two weeks ago. Currently he spends about 5 days a week at my house, so is a bit concerned that when the sale of his flat goes through, he will not be spending very much time there, so it will be a waste of money. We have just started talking about him moving into my house instead. He wants to invest in property, so would also be wanting to share my mortgage. As his dad was going to be putting alot of money towards the flat he was goign to buy, his dad is not happy with the idea of my boyfriend renting it out. The thing is, we know we would be moving in together eventually, but is it too soon in the realtionship and would it change things if it is sooner rather than later? The problem is, we have to decide pretty soon as he is about to exchange this week! help!
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female
reader, b3x  +, writes (27 November 2006):
 Coming from personal experience...
I moved in with my fella after about 4 months, from my parents to his house. Was hard getting used to living with him and I was still getting to know him....but 2 years down the line, were still together and still living together, and and and.... I only ever slept at home once, we had a fight so I went home, only happened once so I think thats good!
Do what you feel is right, if you think its too soon and don't want to rush anything thats cool, the advice given above is goos and I respect that, but in my case, everything was fine, good luck babe xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006):
Yes, its way too soon.
Plus you are going to complicate the legal situation by having him contribute the mortgage? Thats a mistake too.
Wait until you have a real comittment before you introduce all these entanglements.
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A
female
reader, jaynehaigh +, writes (27 November 2006):
spending five days a week at your house is not the same as living together. Neither of you will have any personal space at all. I'm not saying you shouldnt do it all I'm saying is think about it for a while. How do you do that though without hurting anybodies feelings? I don't really know. Your boyfriend may be having the same doubts as you - you won't know unless you talk to him about it. There is no harm in you having 2 properties between you and it is an investment to buy a property NEVER a waste of money. I think what you should be asking yourself (well both of you should) would we be moving in together at this early stage if it wasn't for the flat? I think you will then have your answer. I wish you both the best in your future together and let us know what happens.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): I think it is too soon, but i know it does happen to others and it works out perfectly well. You shouldn't have your future decided for you and that is how it looks to me. You are being rushed and pushed into something which you are clearly not ready for. I would try and put a hold on this for another 4 months at least, but that is me.
You two need to sit down and have a good chat about this. Let him know how you feel and don't be pushed into something that your clearly not ready for.
best wishes
xx
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