A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my bf have been together for 3 years are 16 now and have been having sex for past 2 months, we do use protection just to be safe (condoms, the pill) but lately im not that into it even though he is. he can never seem to get me to orgasm. its only happened once and when he cums im left horny and wanting more. would it be to much to ask him to finger me after hes cummed? i dont wanna sound selfish or anything, the sex is great, i just hate it when im left having not been pleasured ]:
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horny, orgasm, the pill Reply to this Question
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (20 November 2008):
 After a man has shot his load, he often doesn't feel a great deal of passion. He could trying fingering you, but it might be pretty lacklustre. It is a lot of pressure on a guy to be asked to keep performing after his orgasm has left him weak, listless, satisfied, and uninterested in sex, at least for a while.
I think it would be much better to ask him to make sure you are satisfied BEFORE he shoots his load. He will be much more enthusiastic, passionate, and sensual, which means he'll do a better job. This may mean that the two of you have to explore ways of delaying his coming. In fact, I suspect that this is the problem here. He is coming too fast to satisfy you. So that is the way to solve this problem -- prolong his lovemaking until you are satisfied, THEN let him come.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): I know how you feel. My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 14/13, and didn't have sex till we were 17/16. I'm now 18 and we still don't always get it right - it takes practice!
Try more foreplay? That sometimes works. The longer/slower the build-up the better.
But do talk to him. Gently - don't damage his ego too much or things will probably not get better cos he'll be trying too hard =)
Good luck
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A
female
reader, viethuni228  +, writes (18 November 2008):
It's not selfish i know the feeling. It seems selfish but then it's not because he already got his thrill but you didn't get yours just try telling him that. If you guys have been together that long then he will understand hopefully and get over it and do something to fix the problem. Come to a compromise with it. I mean he might get upset but not with you he's gonna get upset with himself because he knows he's not pleasing you. A man feels like a man when he knows he does it right.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): He probably feels guilty knowing that you aren't completely satisfied! It's not much to ask him to finger you, so go for it! I gather he's your first sexual partner (well done for waiting so long because 3 years is a lot!), and you're both very new to it, so it's not likely he's going to be able to make you orgasm. Hardly anyone has an orgasm with their first sex partner, so it's nothing for either of you to be ashamed of. It will take practice and communication to be able to get it to maximum pleasure.
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