A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Not sure if this is the usual question on here but I would love advice.I work in finance, managing retirement funds. I have been in the industry for over 10 years and have been good at it. Lately I have felt incapable of making decisions following a few poor choices that came out of the blue that I couldn't be responsible for predicting. Subsequently I feel like I have lost my nerve and struggle to action changes I know I should. I have always felt keenly the outcomes of clients and am now finding the stress difficult. I have 2 kids and a stay at home wife. My income is good and I have just been made partner of the firm. Despite this I am very unhappy. I don't know what to do. Any thoughts? Is changing careers too late? I feel like I would condemn us to being poor Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (29 April 2017):
It sounds like you are a really good guy and possibly oversensitive to having a few recent bumps in the road in regard to your clients. I would be the same way...unhappy if I caused my clients any financial harm. However, if you've just been made a partner the your firm, you must be having more success than failures. You may be over-dramatizing this in your mind. But as to changing careers, I did it when I was 49 yo (now 66 yo) and it was a wonderful change to my life. I was good at my previous career but it just got repetitive and didn't provide enough opportunity to express my creativity. I am not only making a better income but am happier with what I do, too. I started by taking courses in my field of interest (film/television), working on a documentary film to complete class projects. That snowballed. I hadn't given serious thought to making a career out of it but it just went that way. My point is that you before you quit your job, you should know where you want to go with your career, and get some education, experience and meet some people in that area. But yes, I am all for career changes at any point in a person's life.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (28 April 2017):
 Talk to your wife and get her onboard. I would also consider talking to your GP for a referral for a few counselling sessions, it seems you are taking the few bad decisions made difficult to reconcile with ... its possible you might feel better about your current position after a few sessions.
As to a career change, its never too late. I personally know a number of people who have successfully done this, some against extraordinary odds.
Your wife needs to be included in any decisions as she may be required to pick up the slack while you are establishing yourself in a new career ... this might mean her taking on a part time position somewhere or simply changing spending habits for a time.
Do your research, carefully consider all your choices, and find something that you will be happy doing.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (27 April 2017):
 It's never too late.
What you are thinking of may be a big change for you and your family, but it is totally achievable. You can ease the transition by making sure you have saved some money to send yourself back to school (if you will need to retrain) and to pay living expenses while you are between careers, if there will be a gap between when you must leave your old job and when you are ready (training-wise) to apply for a new one. Do this before leaving your current workplace.
And I agree with Chigirl - if your wife has her heart set on maintaining a certain lifestyle, there's no reason she can't seek employment at least part time to help the family afford it. If she loves you, surely she wouldn't want to condemn you to a lifetime of unhappiness in a job that's not a good fit for you, just as you are worried about your family's needs in addition to your own.
Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2017): No, it is not too late to change careers. You are in the field of finance. You know how money works, compound interest, budgeting, etc. You are in a better position for this change than most.
If you want to have a new career, start now and plan a bit so you don't put yourself in a position where you cannot pay bills and go into debt, since it sounds like that is a concern for you.
Trim your expenses, and start banking some extra money now. Especially that raise you just got for becoming partner. (congrats by the way!) You aren't used to spending that extra money yet I hope, so you can put that toward your savings that you can use while in transition.
Talk to your wife and see if she can start to contribute more financially too. Can she work from home, or get a part time or full time job herself? Are there any things sitting around your home that you never use that you can sell? Extra cars, bikes, boats, other big boy toys? Put that money toward your dream too.
Then the hard part. Decide what it is that you would really like to do. I knew a man who worked as a stockbroker for almost 30 years, and decided that he did not like it, then became a caterer. He is successful and really enjoys his work. His food is delicious! I don't know that he makes quite as much as he used to, but he likes what he does, gets to be his own boss, and says he would do it for free since he likes to cook so much. He is happier than he has ever been, and getting paid for his passion. I hope you can decide what that passion is for you too.
Once you decide, take steps to get into your new field or follow your new dream. Get the education you may need. Talk with others in that field to find mentors, and network, network, network! How did they get to where they are now? Ask them lots of questions. Try to follow a similar path yourself. Research about what your new income is likely to be going forward, and start to accommodate your lifestyle to that right now.
Don't be scared of a smaller salary, home, car, etc. either, if that is a side effect of your change in careers. If you have a loving family around you, a job or career that you enjoy and look forward to every day, then you are RICH! You can never be poor if you have those things.
I hope this helps, and I do hope you find your happiness in a new career very soon. Remember the saying "No risk no reward". Just take your expertise and calculate those risks in order to mitigate them somewhat, and work toward the reward you want and can earn.
R
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 April 2017):
 A friend of mine made the decision back when she was 53 years old that she would change her bookkeeping career. She went back to law school, got her degree, passed the bar, and is now very happy doing contract law. She asked me the same question you did. I told her what I'm going to tell you:
It's only too late when you're dead.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 April 2017):
 It's not too late to change careers. Talk about this with your wife. How old are the children, and what are childcare options where you live? She can go to work. I think in this day and age, having a stay at home wife is a waste of resources and a waste of time, unless you have special needs children or so many children that it is a full days work to manage the house. Kids are in school, or in kindergarden.
It would mean YOU are going to have to share on household chores, sure. And it means setting up new budgets, and it means not buying everything new and expensive, and it means perhaps downsizing in living all over. But can it be done? Yes. Can it be done smoothly? Yes. If your wife loves you above the life style, she should be more than happy to help you become happier in life, as long as you can still pay the bills and take proper care of the kids.
Talk about it with your wife. Find out what the minimum cost you can get by on is. Then when you apply for work, look at the new salary and compare it to your budget. Would your wife need to work, or can she continue to stay at home? Depends on the salary of a new position.
But DO NOT quit your current job until you have an offer on the table for a new one.
Good look!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2017): If you haven't already, talk to your wife. Explain you are unhappy. She knows you and your situation better than we can. She may be happy to go back to work and make up any shortfall in income. If this is a temporary rough patch then I would just try and see it through. If you're unhappy in your job and this is never going to change then you should look to see what other jobs you can do with your skills.
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A
male
reader, JJ173 +, writes (27 April 2017):
Regret will eat you up if youre unhappy. Research heavily and then research some before you make that jump.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2017): Keep in mind that there is the risk of making mistakes in every job. As the saying goes you don't learn if you don't make mistakes. By profession I am an engineer and by God the mistakes there are costly and difficult to correct.and I assure you I have done a few that I would rather forget. You superiors also have made mistakes in there careers so they understand. My advice dont be so sensative. Stay in your work if you like it and be extra careful not to make any more mistakes. I am sure as time goes there will be other opportunities to achieve a lot of profits for your company and clients.
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A
male
reader, Phil052  +, writes (27 April 2017):
 My advice is don't change careers just to get away from a tricky patch you have been through. Only change career if there is something else you really want to do.
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