A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi hope someone can help. I've been with my fiance for over 3 years now lately my feelings for him have changed due to him almost cheating on me.He went to the pub with his mates and I was meeting him later in the same pub.I walked in and caught him exchanging numbers with a woman a bit younger than me. He stares at every woman who's in his sight. He loves blonde haired women who have long hair. We were walking back from my cousins a couple of days ago there was a woman on the other side of the road. He looked over at her 4 times. Last time I mentioned it to him he walked out and came back half hour later.Now I feel like ending the relationship I don't feel happy anymore any suggestions thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2017): I don't think you have let that incident go.And you never will.You are never going to trust him.And why should you?He almost cheated on you. He HAD the INTENTION of doing so. And that is enough.What kind of a man is this?Even worse, what kind of a husband would he be?You don't want to take that plunge and be a sitting duck, wallowing in anxiety and stress... just waiting for him to misbehave, do you? It's an awful way to live. And awfully bad footing on which to start a life long marriage.Do what is best for you.Let him go.He is a man of weak character and he has already proven he is capable of cheating on you.This should be enough.Remember, you cannot love a broken man enough to fix him. Broken is broken.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 April 2017):
 You are not happy so end things. Don't get married and then resent him for it. I think you need to be honest with yourself about how you feel and to him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2017): If you don't feel happy anymore then it's time to move on. It's disrespectful for him to be staring at every woman within sight when he is with you. Yes, we all look occasionally, but it definitely should be at a minimum when you are with your significant other. If it was just that I'd say talk with him and tell him how it makes you feel. However, the moment you saw him exchanging numbers with another woman that should have been the deal breaker.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (10 April 2017):
 Do you think he is just looking? If so then, in my view, it is ok for him to build up his appetite elsewhere as long as he eats at home. It's not really fair to stop him looking when he sees something (someone) he likes. And counting how many times he looks is a bit obsessive on your part, don't you think? I had a boyfriend I used to "totty spot" for - pointing out women I knew he would like the look of. However, I did trust him to only look and not do anything about it. It took nothing away from our relationship because I was secure enough to not let it worry me.
If, however, you don't trust him and think he is cheating or has cheated, then that is a different scenario all together. If that IS the situation, then you really do not want to marry someone like that as it will only eventually lead to heartache and divorce.
It doesn't sound like he makes you feel secure, which has to raise questions about the quality of your relationship. If he made you feel loved and safe in the relationship, you would not obsess about him looking at other females as you would know it was just looking.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 April 2017):
 You DO know that getting married will NOT change who he is, right? He will continue to ogle other women and try and get numbers...
Seems like his attention is elsewhere. Maybe on purpose? To upset you enough to break it off?
Either way, I'd end it. You aren't happy with his behavior (which is understandable as it is NOT appropriate when you are in a relationship) and HE isn't going to change.
Want more for yourself.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (10 April 2017):
 You might as well end it. His attentions are elsewhere. You will be doing the both of you a favour.
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