A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm looking for advice on my friends, I am a single mother and spends a lot of time just me and my daughter. I had lots of friends before I had my daughter but stopped seeing them as much as obviously my situation had changed, until just before Christmas my "best mate" of 8 years broke up with his boyfriend and started coming to visit more and I tried really hard to support him. At his planned a surprise birthday party for him to take his mind of things for a while.Then he disappeared again and I got nothing other than a few texts over Christmas and New Year, Today is my birthday and he hasn't even texted never mind came to see me. I texted him 3x and he ignored me. What can I do? Is it time to cut him off? I have started seeing someone and he has told me he is not a friend to me. I think he may be right. What do I do??
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 January 2015):
 I wouldn't cut him off, but I WOULD stop to rely on him as much as you have. He seems a tad flaky and thus make for a great acquaintance, NOT so great friend.
HE is VERY much busy with his SINGLE life, you on the other hand has responsibilities. I think you were good company when he was heartbroken and NEEDED/WANTED someone there, but once he is getting over that, he no longer NEEDS you. Sounds a little like a "user" type person.
Don't OVERDO things for him, VIEW him as an acquaintance you like to OCCASIONALLY spend time with/talk to - not as your bosom buddy.
And may I just add, planning a party for someone doesn't mean they OWE you anything, or that they should do the same for you. Being nice shouldn't come with strings. If you DO get to a point (like with this guy) where YOU are the only one putting in effort, then TONE it down.
A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (4 January 2015):
judging someone just over a missed bday text is a little too harsh.. but from what you say he does seem to have distanced himself.. since i don't really know if he is truly busy or simply ignoring you, i would suggest you stop going out of your way to be there for him. you don't have to cut him off, just prioritize better next time.
you'll know for sure if and when he is there for you during your rough patch. today everyone is busy with their own life.. you cant really be sure if they are just caught up or ignoring you
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